DH: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, and everything in between, to DBDH Arena 3!!! Today's match, as always is a fight to finish, a duel to the death, and you know the rest. Let's meet our contestants!
Camera pans down to the ring. Deathspork slowly descends from the ceiling into the ring.
DH: He's no newcomer to fighting, arguing, and flamewars...the MC of the DST, and founder/leader of the internet group the Hitmons, DEEEEEEAAAAAAAATHSPOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRK!!
The crowd cheers as DS floats down into the ring without a word.
DH: And his challenger is, the Sultan of Swearing, and the third person from VI who has battled in this arena, (and attempted to take over the Game Pond)...The MYSTEREEEEEEEEEEEEE GUYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
The Mystery Guy climbs through the ropes into the ring, and confronts DS. The two stand face-to-face silently for awhile, waiting for the bell!
DING! DING! DING! DING!!!
There's the bell! DB throws a wing down!
DB flies out of the ring! The two fighters continue to stare at each other for a few moments..
DS: You know, I rather like VI. Alot of my friends go there. But I'm getting sick and tired of jerks like you giving everyone there a bad name. We all know the only reason you're acting like such a moron is because you're friends with Bulma and she got clobbered on the last episode.
MG: That's it!!! I'm leaving!!! This place is full of morons and assholes!! Give me one good reason why I should stay!!
DH: The Mystery Guy turns around and leaves the ring!!! I don't believe it!! What a coward!!!
The crowd begins booing, louder and louder. They start throwing paper cups and all sorts of trash at the Mystery Guy.
DH: Oh man, it looks like there could be a riot, folks!! These people paid to see a fight!! They aren't too happy about this!!
DS: So, you forfeit, then?
MG (stops in his tracks): Hey! That's not what I said!! Don't put words in my mouth!!
DS: You said you were leaving. If you're leaving, then how can you fight? Therefore, in order to leave, you must forfeit the match.
MG (walks back over to DS): Listen, Spork-person, you putting words in my mouth is the equivalent of the KGB censoring newspapers!! Just like when you edited my post at the Game Pond!!
DS: Awwww, f*ck this!!!
DH: DS takes a swing, AND PUNCHES THE MYSTERY GUY IN THE MOUTH!! BLOOD AND TEETH FLY EVERYWHERE!! It looks like this match is on after all, folks! The Mystery Guy stumbled backwards a few feet, then catches his balance. He lunges forward at DS and the two lock hands!! They're struggling, but neither side seems willing to give in......
DS: I only edited your post so I could counter your argument. I made it quite clear who was who in the argument.
MG: F*ck you, Facist Pig!!
DS: Oh, I'm the facist one who censors people?! Then why did YOU edit my argument out of your post?! I didn't alter anything you said! I did it that way because the thread was locked!
MG: SHUT UP!!!!
DH: MG twists DS's arm back and manages to throw him across the ring!! However, using his ability to fly, DS comes to a soft landing on his feet!
DS: HA HA HA HA HA!! I don't think you know who you're dealing with. I'll have you know, I've battle entire groups of morons worse than you! I've fought PSX freaks and the whole Pokemon and Other RPGs BBS at N-Sider all by myself!! You think I can't handle one little Sega-freak like you?
MG: They were all nothing compared to me!!
DH: The Mystery Guy charges towards DS and takes a swing. But DS disappears!! MG looks back and forth frantically, then DS reappears behind MG! DS reaches out a hand and zaps MG with electricity! MG backs up and brings out his secret weapon: The Swear Words of Doom!!! MG starts mindlessly insulting DS! DS is getting pelted left and right! He falls from the air and lands in the ring on one knee, panting!! Could be this be the end of DS? No...wait!! What's this?! DS wraps his cape around him and starts spinning like a tornado! When he's done spinning, he throws the cape aside...Ladies and gentlemen, Deathspork has morphed into his alter-ego, the super-fighting Pokemon, HitmoUrkel!!! HitmonUrkel does a roundhouse kick to MG's stomach, doubling him over, then an uppercut to MG's nose! The Mystery Guy goes flying up in the air!!! On his return back down, HitmonUrkel does a straight punch and hits MG in mid-air!! MG flies backwards into the ropes!!
DING DING DING DING!!!
DH: There was the bell, folks. The two fighters return to their corners.
MG notices his bucket has no water in it.
MG: Man....that guy is tough...Where is my water, coach?
GH64 walks over to the Mystery Guy.
MG: Well, where is my water?
GH64: I'm hungry.
MG: Come on, I need water here!!
GH64: I'm full.
MG: Aww, f*ck you!!
MG picks up the bucket and stuffs it on GH64's head! He then kicks GH64 and he goes flying around the ring, hitting the corners like a pinball!!!!
GH64: Go...(BONG!!)...play...(BONG!!)...with your..(BONG!!)...16-bit...(BONG!!)...toyyssssssss!!!
When he hits the fourth pole, GH64 spikes up into the air and flies out of the ring into the audience.
DING DING DING DING!!!
DB: Round 2, Start!!!
DH: Hitmonurkel leaps to the ropes then flies right at the Mystery Guy, tackling him and knocking him to the matt! He starts pounding on his head!! I'd say this match is probably over folks.....
DH: Whoah! Something has zapped Hitmonurkel from behind!!! He reverts to being Deathspork, again!! What has happened!!
A strange floating contraption with pincer-like claws hovers in the ring behind DS! There is a dorky-looking guy at the controls...it's...it's....oh, no.......not HIM again...
NOADANO: YA HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHA! Hello, Deathspork!! I just deleted you as HitmonUrkel!! Now prepare to be deleted as Deathspork, too!!!
DS: Oh no...
DH: Deathspork leaps off of the Mystery Guy, and starts running for his life!! NOADANO is right on his tail, chasing him in his machine and zapping his deletion rays at him!! This could be the end for Deathspork...
Gaimeguy is walking around acting as though he is looking for something he's lost...James FP sees what he's doing...
James: Hey, Gaimeguy, did you lose something?
GG: Well...uh...you see..I had this thing....and I put it somewhere, and now I can't find it..
James: Well..where did you last have it?
GG: Oh, I think I remember now! There was this big machine with pincer-like claws, with a place for a person to sit in it. I hid it behind the seat!
James: Umm....what, exactly, was this.."thing"?
Meanwhile..back at the ring...NOADANO has DS cornered!! There's nowhere to go, nowhere to run!! And the magnetic field generated from the machine is keeping DS from teleporting!!
NOADANO: MWA HAHAHHAHHAHAA!!! I WILL HUNT DOWN AND DELETE ALL N-SIDERS!! ONLY ESS IS WORTHY OF BEING ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET!! I'll start with you, then Rufus Shinra, then DH and Pero will be next, then..............huh?
Dano hears a ticking noise coming from behind the seat.
DH: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, NOADANO'S SHIP HAS JUST EXPLODED INTO A BAZILLION TINY BITS AND PIECES!!! Pieces of the machine and NOADANO fly out into the audience!!
GG's voice from backstage: I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THAT TO BE A BOMB!!!!
DS (getting up on his feet): Thanks, Gaimeguy, I owe you one....Now to finish this...
DH: The Mystery Guy charges into DS and plows him into the ropes! He then grabs DS and swings him around, then throws him into the bell! Oh man...DS hits the canvas...and he isn't getting up...It looks like the struggle against Dano has just taken too much out of DS. DS is not getting up…It looks like we have a winner…
DB flies into the ring, and the Mystery Guy takes his hood off. He turns to the audience!
MG: I want everyone here to know who I am! I am Claude Kenni, remember it well! I have taken down Spork-person, and the Game Pond is next!!
The crowd boos and throws trash into the ring!! Suddenly, DS begins to get up again..
DS: heh heh…like I said...I've fought lots of PSX freaks and Pokemon freaks, and other morons…
ClaudeKenni: They were nothing compared to me!
DS: Oh, trust me, I've fought and defeated something much worse..heh heh..
CK: Worse? What's worse than PSX and Pokemon freaks? NOAs? I'm much tougher than the NOAs.
DS: Oh, yeah, I've fought the NOAs..but these are even worse.
CK: Worse than NOAs? Lawyers?!
DS: Nope. Much worse.
CK: Who or what could be worse than lawyers?!! Telemarketers?
CK: Stand-up comedians?!
DS: Nope. Much worse than that.
CK: Oh no…no it can't be…there's only one thing I can think of that's worse than all of those…and if you've fought and defeated them…No it can't be…
DS: That's right!!!!
CK: Not…..not……..FUNCOLAND WORKERS!!!!!!!!!!
DS: YOU GOT IT, FAT BOY!!!!
DH: Using all his experience he's gained fighting PSX freaks, Pokemon freaks, NOAs, MiyamotoLover, and Funcoland Workers, DS starts glowing with energy! His cape slips off, and he launches himself headfirst at ClaudeKenni!!!! DS's spork-shaped head plunges right through Claude Kenni's torso!!! CK flies apart in two pieces!!!!
CK: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo!! I…never…had…a…channnnnnnnnce……….
GaimeGuy (watching from the stands): Oh my God, you killed ClaudeKenni!!
GH64: You bastard!!!!
DING DING DING DING!!!
DB takes DS's arm and raises it!
DH: And the winner is……DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAATHHSPORRRRRRRRRRRRK!!!!!
The crowd goes wild, cheering and throwing confetti!
DB (hands DS his trophy): Well, Deathspork, you've won DBDH Arena 3!! What are you gonna do now?
DS: Well, I have to go MC another DST, and I have to destroy about 30 more Funcolands. Let's go, Gaimeguy!!
GG: Allright, DS! You're the best!!
DS and GG leave the ring.
DH: Well, there you have it, folks! This is DEATHAMSTER and DOVEBLOB signing off! Goodnight!!
The lights go out and the crowd starts to clear.
DB: You know, DH, I've been thinking…I hope Gaimeguy didn't accidentally "leave behind" any more of those "bombs".
DH: Aw, you worry too much , DB. Let's go get a pizza.
Meanwhile…backstage, GH64 is hauling a bucket around.
GH64: Okay, ClaudeKenni, I'm going to get your water now!!
He holds the bucket under a sink faucet and turns it on….but no water comes out.
He taps the spout a few times, but nothing happens…Then he gives it a good hard kick! The sink rattles and something red and cylindrical falls out of the spout and into the bucket. GH64 puts his head in the bucket to see what it is…
GH64: What the………….eh……oh…….time for Teletubbies……gulp!