|Possible Endings for Long-Running Game Series|
|by Sweetbee & Crawl|
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time/ Majora's Mask Link finally makes it back to Hyrule after what to him is only a few years, but due to the warped flow of time in the alternate dimension he finds himself in the time of the Link of the NES games. They are initially antagonistic towards each other, but they eventually fall in love. Ganon is destroyed forever when he accidentally witnesses the two playing "swords" (don't ask, just assume).
Metal Gear Solid: Snake keels over dead while brushing his teeth one morning. Then there's three hours of codec of Otacon crying and screaming Snake's name. He briefly pulls himself together to recite the lyrics to "Candle in the Wind" somewhere near the end, but at that point no one is listening anymore. Fade to black.
Castlevania: Bram Stoker comes back to life and tears down Konami HQ with his bare hands. A very pretty man who is probably Alucard silently broods over the situation.
Street Fighter: M. Bison finally takes over Ryu's body, transforming it into Sagat's missing eye.
Pac-Man: Tests to make sure if a person is not suffering from a stroke:
Unfortunately, Pac-Man has no arms, can't speak, and always appears to be smiling. So, when the years of taking pills and the cholesterol from eating ghosts took their toll, no one even knew to help.
Fight Night: Your character fights his way up the rankings, and finally gets to fight the champ in the final fight. But at the end of a round, as you go back to your corner, the champ sucker punches you from behind, and you fall with your neck directly hitting the stool your coach set out for you, leaving you a complete invalid. One of your legs ends up needing to be amputated, too. It's very depressing, and puts anyone off from wanting to play one of these games ever again.
Crystalis 2: This game is actually just an FMV video, showing interviews of various people from SNK, or who worked on Crystalis, explaining why there will never, ever be a sequel, and why the series is done as is.
This is similar to Vagrant Story 2, in which you just have to keep returning to Sydney's grave every once in a while to make sure that he stays dead (he does).
Mega Man: Using concepts from set theory, mathematicians succeed in finding a one to one map of the natural numbers onto games of the Mega Man series, proving that there is an infinite number of them. Thus, as long as there are years of life left in the universe, there will be more Mega Man games, but in the distant future, with the help of alien technology in the field of transfinite time travel, scientists are able to escape from the normal constraints of space-time .. and from the Mega Man series.
Back to the Humor Page
Back to Main Page