DH: Welcome, ladies, gentlemen, and all other
semi-intelligent forms of life gathered here today for DBDH ARENA 2! Today's
contestants are vying for the title of "The Internet's Biggest Psycho!"
This is a fight to the finish, a duel to the death! Who will survive? Only one, and
one only! And our first contestant is...
The security guards drag Bulma out into the arena and dump her, then walk out.
DH: The Queen of Internet Psychos, herself, Bullllllmmmmmmaaaaaaaa!!
The crowd boos and throws trash into the ring.
DH: And our second contestant is...
PSYKOSUMA leaps off of the ropes and lands in the middle of the arena, causing a slight tremor. Her scythe is held in her hands.
DH: The Manifestation of Kiera-Yin-Cat's darker half...PSYKOOOOSUMAAAAAAA!!!
The crowd cheers and whistles!
DH: Now before the fight begins, I would like to speak with verteran Game Pond fight referee, Sethra Shnoo, and get her take on the upcoming battle.
(camera pans over and we see Sethra sitting next to DH.)
DH: Well, Sethra, the odds are 596:1 in favor of PSYKOSUMA winning this match. What do you think?
Sethra: Well, I don't know, DH. SUMA is tough..but Bulma has been known to literally explode over the slightest provocation...and sometimes for even no real reason at all. If SUMA gets overconfident, it could be disastrous.
DH: Well, we'll see. Let's get this fight underway!
The bells rings! DING DING DING DING!
DB (in the ring, throws a wing down): FIGHT!!
DB flies out of the ring.
SUMA: Allright...let's finish what we started!
DH: And they're off! Suma charges at Bulma and swings the scythe right at her when she gets near. But Bulma successfully backflips away and dodges! Bulma prepares a kameahmeha attack, inspired by one of her cheesy, ripped-off anime names. But she is too slow to fire, and SUMA leaps right over the kameahmeah and lands right on Bulma's shoulders, plowing her face-first down into the mat! SUMA grabs Bulma's throat and begins choking her! Bulma pounds the mat with her feet and fists and starts crying for her mommy and daddy!
SUMA: Ahhh, shaddap!!!
DH: Suma grabs Bulma's hair and starts pounding her face into the mat! Oh man, I have never seen anything so brutal! Is there no end in sight? .....Wait! What's this...someone is running down out of the audience and is headed towards the ring! I don't believe it! He just climbed under the ropes and is now in the ring! He's heading towards Bulma and SUMA...Why, it's...it's...oh no...not HIM again!
NOADANO: Hey! You! We don't tolerate personal attacks here! Stop this at once or I'll delete both of you!
SUMA drops Bulma's head, and stomps towards DANO. Each stomp shakes the arena, and DANO stumbles and lands on his butt. SUMA holds the scythe up to his neck.
SUMA: Do you have something to say to me, punk?
DANO (in a squeaky voice): nevermind
DANO scurries backwards into a corner of the ring and sucks his thumb, whimpering.
SUMA: mumble grumble...
DH: SUMA turns around just in time to be....OOOHH!! Smacked in the face by Bulma's roundhouse kick! SUMA flies backwards and lands on her back, skidding to a halt! Oh, no, folks! It's the dreaded BAKA attack! Bulma sprouts horns and begins shooting balls of flame from her mouth at SUMA! SUMA, still knocked a little silly, begins to get torched! It looks like this match is over, folks....Wait! Bulma...is stopping.....what..? Why did she stop her attack?
Bulma (turns to the audience): I just wanted to take this time to brag about how funny I am and how I'm the greatest thing to hit the internet since....since....Well, I'm the greatest thing to hit the internet, period! I'm also the best gamer in the whole world! I can sit on my ass and beat any pansy Final Fantasy game by repeatedly hitting the Triangle on the PSX controller and staring at the screen! I am the only person who can do this, I am the best gamer ever! Even though you wouldn't know it by the way I act, I'm also really smart! And it is those skills that have allowed me to defeat inferior internet lifeforms, like PSYKO--what's her name!
SUMA (without moving a muscle): heh heh heh....Final Fantasy, huh???
SUMA slowly gets up to one knee and grabs her scythe.
SUMA: You think beating RPGs makes you the best gamer ever, huh? Well...(brushes herself off), I've been forced to sit in a basement and play some of the worst games ever made. Games like Ikari Warriors, IronSword, Adventure Island 2, Ghosts N Goblins, and Athena...These games are horrendously difficult, due to poor game design, and even worse play control. If I can master playing tough action games like these......Then there is no WAY I can be beaten by a Final Fantasy drone!
DH: SUMA leaps high into the air, and comes down in front of Bulma, swinging the scythe down! The scythe plants into the mat! There is a flash of light....and the two contestants stand face to face for a moment.....THEN SUDDENLY, BULMA'S HEAD ROLLS OFF! I DON'T BELIEVE IT FOLKS! SUMA'S ATTACK WAS SO QUICK, BULMA NEVER SAW IT COMING! HER HEAD HAS BEEN COMPLETELY TAKEN OFF! CLEAN-CUT!!
The bell rings! DING DING DING DING!!
DB flies into the ring and holds SUMA's right arm up!
DH: And the winner is....PSYKOOOOOSUMAAAAA!!!!
The crowd roars with cheer! SUMA yanks her arm away from DB and stomps over to Bulma's head and kicks it.....To everyone's surprise...it makes a clanking sound! A hush comes over the crowd...then the crowd starts murmuring.
SUMA walks over, picks up the head, and examines it. She realizes the skin is actually a rubber mask! She pulls it off to reveal some kind of metal box!
DB: Why....I don't believe it...She's a....she's a...
SUMA: A robot.
SUMA turns the box over and discovers a small label on the other side.
SUMA (reading the label): "Property of VI"...hmmmm...
DB: But that place is the home of...
Suddenly, the box lights up, and a familiar voice emanates from it!
Box: Yes! It is I! Thawhidol! You thought you had destroyed me, but luckily I had a back-up plan! I had programmed my brainwaves into this robot, and ordered it to take over for me in the case that I should be destroyed! You are all fools! I am the most brilliant mind of all time! MWA HAHHHAHAHHAAHA! THIS IS RICH! I AM THE ANTI-CHRIST! YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME!! MWA HAHAHHAHAA!
SUMA turns the box over and finds a small switch. She flips it...
Box: MWA HAHHHAHHA hhhahAHahhhahahaaaaa...hhooo...oroorrggrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Everyone just stares at one another for a few moments, and SUMA shrugs her shoulders. She throws the box over her shoulder and starts to walk away. When suddenly...the body of Bulma, which is still standing, begins to fizzle and smoke at the neck!!!
DH: Uh-oh...It looks like Bulma has one last attack up her sleeve! LOOK OUT! SHE'S GONNA BLOWWWWWW!!!!
SUMA: No place to run! Gotta get rid of it before it explodes!
SUMA runs over to the robot's body and swings her scythe at it! It flies over into the corner where NOADANO is hiding!
Both the robot and NOADANO explode into a million pieces!!!! The crowd goes wild!!
DH runs in to the ring and holds a microphone up
DH: So, SUMA, you've just destroyed Bulma, Thawhidol, and NOADANO. What do you have to say for yourself?
SUMA: All in a day's work! NO ONE is more psychotic than me! heh heh. Now I have to get out of here before Kiera catches me and makes me play Seal of the Pharoah again!
SUMA pulls a small round object out of her hood, and throws it to the ground. It explodes into a small puff of smoke. When the smoke dissipates, SUMA is gone.
DH: Well, there you have it, folks! This has been DBDH Arena 2! I'm DEATHAMSTER and this is DOVEBLOB, signing off! Goodnight!