Damn, I was one really immature muthafucka' back when I wrote these. I apologize for the obscene amount of "Thawhidol" game ideas. I had a rivalry with this guy on ezboard years ago. He would post things to purposefully piss people off, and I'd always one-up him by writing a game idea about him. I wasn't originally going to include all of them in this database, but the rest of the staff insisted.

  • Bickering 64
  • Cooking With Thawhidol
  • Evil Bed: A Fistful of Broomsticks
  • Message Board Conquest
  • MiyamotoLover 64
  • Satanic Chatroom
  • Thawhidol RPG
  • Thawhidol's Internet Quest
  • Thawhidol's Law Firm

  • Bickering 64

    You get to play as one of these 4 characters:

    Aussie2B, James FP, Gardenho, Crawland1000

    The object is to find the most useless and boring subject imaginable, and then bicker about it until the cows come home. Whoever can bicker the longest wins! However, each character has a special move:

    Aussie2B - Misinterpret: This is where Aussie completely misses the point of the argument, and starts fighting just for the sake of fighting. She becomes twice as deadly as before.

    James FP - Kamikaze: This is where James gets so frustrated, that he goes Kamikaze and starts cursing and calling people "Communist Bastards" and "Nintendo Nazis". Insults do twice as much damage.

    Gardenho - Speech: This is where GH loses it and gives a humongous, boring speech, in an attempt to stop everyone else dead in their tracks.

    Crawland1000 - Crash: This is where Crawl's speech gets so long, that it makes everyone else's browsers crash.

    It's a cross between an RPG and a Fighter, different combinations of the buttons and controller moves create different "bickering" effects! As you bicker, your opponents, as well as yourself, lose hit points. Some forms of bickering may have different effects on different opponents. For example, insulting the N64 does a lot of damage to James FP and Aussie2B, but it does no damage to Crawland1000. Insulting the PSX will do damage to Crawl and James, but none to Gardenho. And so on and so forth. BJ Strykes will attempt to be the referee, but after about 5 minutes into the match, he'll get completely torn to shreds, and carried out on a stretcher by Sethra Shnoo and Camira Breen. Eventually, as you wear each other's HP down, you get tired of bickering, run out of things to say, or repeat yourself so much it makes you dizzy, until you finally pass out, or Kiera bans you. The last one left Bickering is the winner!

    Cooking With Thawhidol

    In this game you are Thawhidol, and you are trying to make a soufflé. At first, all goes well..then the slightest thing goes wrong with it, and you start mindlessly cursing at it. You stick it in the oven, and take it out, but find out it still didn't go the way you wanted, so you give it a long, boring, completely irrelevant speech. Next, you taste a piece of it, and it tastes horrible, so you go blame everything on FO. Then you try again, but it still doesn't come out the way you want, so you email Kiera to complain about it. Kiera refuses to help you, so you go spam her board under other usernames like demo, PeaceandQuiet, and Polar Kraken. Then, when you get caught with your pants down, you blame it on FO again. So, then your ass is banned from the Game Pond, so you decide to take a memory-erasing pill and forget everything bad you ever did, and act like it never happened. In the end, FO becomes an admin, and you end up selling burnt soufflés at your own dead BBS, and telling everyone it was all FO's fault. Who doesn't wanna buy 28 copies of this game?

    Evil Bed: A Fistful of Broomsticks

    This is the same game as Evil Dead: A Fistful of Boomstick, except now you travel around the world on a flying bed and you fight the evil zombies by making suits of armor come to life with magic spells. Default weapon is a broom.

    Message Board Conquest

    The year is 1999. A small group of N-Siders have survived the apocalypse. Out of a bazillion N-Siders, only a few remain. At first, these N-Siders attempt to work together to rebuild their civilization at the Game Pond. But, as time goes on, bickering and feuding begins over whose fault it was that N-Sider closed, and they divide into 4 main factions: The Nostalgia Gamers, RPG Freaks, The N64 Freaks, and the Lamers. There are a few who don't really fit into any of those groups, and you can attempt to lure or bribe them into joining your group before they join another one, or just leave the Game Pond altogether. This game is a strategy war-far game, similar to Starcraft. The object is to take over the game pond. Each faction has its own strengths and weaknesses:

    Nostalgia Gamers: Their strength lies in their humongous words and tech-talk no one else understands. They use this to confuse the enemy and cause chaos. They also use this knowledge to build better weaponry. Their weakness: There's not that many of them, and they're mostly old geezers, easy to take down.

    RPG Freaks: These are the loudest of the four factions. Their strength lies in their numbers, and the fact that they are so loud, they can knock walls down just by screaming. Their weakness is, they usually sound pretty stupid, and therefore, easily outsmarted. Their bark is worse than their bite.

    The N64 Freaks: Possibly the strongest of the four factions, they have tough warriors, like Pero and Deathspork. They have a lot of battle experience from years of sticking up for the system that gets more criticism than Bill Clinton on Ladies Night. Their weakness is that they tend to overheat in an argument and explode (ie, Pero and James FP).

    The Lamers: This group consists of people like Peace and Quiet, Polar Kraken, and GH64, and is led by Thawhidol. They are bandits who just like picking fights with anybody and everybody. However all they can fight back with is relatively weak spam and insults, so they can easily be squashed by any army. If you play as this group, you'll have a tough time winning.

    You start out conquering different forums. When you conquer a forum, you can either leave it the way it is, delete it, or rename it, or decide who can post there and who can't. If an opposing faction conquers a forum, you can attempt to take it from them by battling them.

    By defeating a Mod or Admin, you win Moderator and Admin control. (Mods and Admins are like Captains and Generals). You can delete and ban people, or delete and edit posts, which is like destroying a base. You can spam someone else's forum. You can insult people and their N-Sider boards. You can attempt to overthrow the admin (like Thawhidol). The possibilities are endless! If you gain Admin control, you can delete someone else's forum, but remember, your opponents can do the same to you! You can create new forums! You could even secretly create your own private ezboard, and build up a secret army by going around to other ezboards and asking people to join, or messaging old friends from N-Sider. The Game ends when only one faction remains! You must be a madman not to want this game!

    MiyamotoLover 64

    You are MiyamotoLover, and you are on a quest to destroy the Nintendo General, ForestbugN64. You start your quest in the woods. Since you're made of wood, yourself, you have to run as fast as you can to avoid woodpeckers, beavers, lumberjacks, and bears in need of sharpening their claws. If and when you escape the woods, you end up at the N-Sider. Here you must wade through an endless torrent of dumb game ideas, like "Chrono Trigger 64 would ROCK!" without your mind going numb, or running out of breath from insulting all the people who made those posts. You almost confront Forestbug at N-Sider, but then NOADANO intervenes when he sets a time bomb that blows the place sky high! You and Forest go in different directions to escape, and now your search begins again. Diving into the hideout of the Dawn of Epix club, you find a note left behind that is a clue to the whereabouts of Forestbug, now. So you follow these instructions and end up in the Game Pond. Now you must run as fast as you can to avoid bombs and grenades being thrown at you by Deathspork, WAR, and Crawland1000. If you survive, you finally get a showdown with ForestbugN64, who has now morphed into his hideous, insectoid form, Bugforest! Who will win this epic struggle! Pay me $95 for the game, and find out! (Now, if ANY game is worth $95 bucks, THAT one is!!!)

    Satanic Chatroom

    In this game you play as Satan, who has taken the form of a Chatroom Manager and Nintendo fanboy. Your goal in this game is to lure innocent people with free-will of their own into the chatroom, and brainwash them into being your slaves, doing everything you say, and making them believe everything Nintendo does is good. Once you have lured a few people in and brainwashed them into liking Nintendo products only, you can assign them tasks. The different missions you can send them out on include:

    1. Destruction of all non-Nintendo games, software, and consoles.
    2. To find more people to bring back to the chatroom and brainwash.
    3. To destroy those who refuse to go to the chatroom.

    You win the game when everyone is either your slave or destroyed, and all non-Nintendo game products no longer exist or function. Then, you reveal your true form, as Satan himself, and swallow everyone in the chatroom whole, then return to the bowels of hell! You would be nuts not to pay $100 for this game, but if your name is MiyamotoLover, you can have a copy for free!

    Thawhidol RPG

    The story so far: You are Thawhidol, and you are on a mission to conquer the Game Pond. You have no weapons. Instead, you rely on insulting your enemies or boring them to death with long speeches that make no sense whatsoever. The game has standard, menu-controlled battles, but instead of choosing from weapons and magic spells, you choose from a list of insults to hurl at your opponent. Some of your special attacks:

    Big Words: This is where you filibuster your speech with humongous, poorly-spelled words. This will cause your opponent to give up and go look for a dictionary.

    Hypocracy: This is where you contradict yourself, so that your enemy becomes confused.

    Complain: Each time you take a hit from the enemy, Thawhidol complains. It doesn't do any good. It just makes him look stupid.

    Boredom: Write a humongous, boring IS, which turns your enemy into a mindless drone.

    The object is to pick a fight and win against every Game Pond member, all the while protecting GH64. Start a shouting match with FO or GARDENHO over who is the biggest pain in the ass around. Go 10 rounds with James FP and Kairobi King. Insult the boyfriend of the bbs admin for no apparent reason whatsoever. Take on the toughguy, Pero the Cat, who you also walk up to and insult for no reason. You must ultimately conquer the bbs admin, Kiera Yin Cat. But first, you'll have to get through her toughest bodyguards, Sethra Shnoo and BJ Strykes. You can distract them by using the Email move, where you send them both a ton of emails complaining about all the people you just picked fights with. Now you face off against Kiera! If by some slight chance you win, you get access to the control center. You unban all the people who were banned, including yourself, Peace and Quiet, and GH64, and they go on a rampage, spamming the bbs with curse words, insulting, and boring speeches. Under your rule, no one can disagree with you, so the world becomes quiet and peaceful, and everyone is forced to write Interactive Stories for your own personal amusement! Have a nice day!

    Thawhidol's Internet Quest

    In this game you are Thawhidol, and you are on a quest to get banned from as many ezboards as you possibly can. You start off at the Game Pond, where you curse out Kiera and her boyfried, accuse BJ of being a Neo-Nazi dictator, and blame a bunch of ezboard glitches on FO. Then you move on to CB007's board, where you proceed to tell everyone you were banned from the GP for no reason. Then, DH and James FP show up and call you a liar. You must fight against them to keep them from revealing the truth about you, so you blame everything on FO before getting banned again. Then you go to ShnooWorld, where you complain that people are emailing you (even though nobody with at least two working brain cells would ever want to email you.) Sethra threatens that if you complain about it once more, you'll be banned. But you really don't want to be banned from ShnooWorld, since Sethra is one of the few admins who will actually tolerate your crap, so you shut up for a change. Next you go to the Team VZQ Headquarters where you blame something on FO again. Troy edits your post, and you get banned once more. Then you get banned from Final Fantasy Ultima for poking your nose in other people's business where it doesn't belong. Now your goal is to find new and creative ways of getting banned from the remaining ezboards, like FO's Palace, James's Paradise Resort, DH's Nest, DEVILRAYS Rad Stadium, and Raven's World Forums. You can try some of the following:

    1. Flood the board with phony emails made up by PolarKraken.
    2. Threaten to spam with a cable modem
    3. Flood the admins' email with complaints.
    4. Laugh maniacally at people's opinions and claim you're the Anti-Christ

    You win the game when you're banned from every single ezboard. But if there are boards left over at the end that you weren't banned from, you lose points for each board and you don't get as good an ending.

    Thawhidol's Law Firm

    In this game, you are Thawhidol and you've just opened up a new internet law firm. Your goal is to turn the entire internet into a Communist nation where no one can ever disagree. You start by being hired as a lawyer to defend such internet lamers as GH64 and demo. Your tactics include the following:

    1. Making people sit through long, boring speeches
    2. Cursing and laughing maniacally
    3. Forcing people to listen to GH64's mindless gibberish
    4. Forcing people to agree with everything GH64 or Bugforest says
    5. Enforcing your policy that no one should ever be banned, even if they flood the board, (unless that person is FO, whom you want to be banned for no apparent reason.)
    6. Blaming the closing of the N-Sider BBS on everyone but yourself and the lamers you're defending
    7. Insulting people for no real reason
    8. Finding some way to blame everything the lamers did on FO
    9. Being an annoying hypocrite.
    10. Whining and complaining like a 2-year-old.

    You win the game when everyone no longer has any beliefs of their own. If, at the end of the game, there are still people with free-will left standing, then you lose points, and won't get as good an ending.

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