You will all be condemned if you do not bring me the sacrifical porn. - WarMutt There's nothing wrong with a little sacrificial porn now and then...or maybe there is. Who knows? Why did honey fall out of the sky just now? - Kairobi King I don't speak Russian, but I can speak Parakeet! - SethraShnoo What is your favorite cheese? What is the meaning of cheese? How do you identify something as "cheese"? Did you know there are currently 652 different cheeses in the cheese.com database? How many cheeses do you think exist? Are there intelligent life forms on other planets who eat cheese? Do you like cheese? If you were a cheese, which kind would you be? Is the moon really made of green cheese? These are all thought-provoking questions I have pondered since signing up for my free cheese.com email address! - James FP There's not much difference between a 17-year-old and an 18-year-old. That system is screwed. - Flying Omelette on the ESRB ratings Some of these newer cars have headlights that are so bright, it's like they're driving with their brights on! I always yell out the window, "Turn your brights off!" But lately I've noticed that I've been yelling that alot more often...Then someone finally told me that it's just the way the newer cars are! Goddammit! Are they trying to make us cause accidents?! I don't like being blinded while I'm trying to keep my eyes on the road! - Magnus Crowe Can you really believe that it's not butter? - James FP I thought this forum was for things you don't talk about anywhere else? You guys talk about that EVERYWHERE else! - James FP to FO and Crawl on their "love" posts I live in the produce section of a Grocery Store. - James FP Don't give her any ideas. Coming in here and seeing a big picture of Dlo Brown is one thing...Coming in here and seeing a big picture of FO's butt is another! - Kiera Lordens Who's loonier? James FP or Freakazoid? - HiRider I'll have you know, one day, sheep will learn the ability to harness electricity, and on that day, they shall seek revenge for your slanderous comments. - Robox What's wrong with a little nonsense? - James FP And why is it so "bizarre" if a woman chases after two men at the same time, but it isn't bizarre if a man chases after more than one girl? - Flying Omelette No one hates you, FO; at least I don't, and I don't even think BJ and Crawland do. Sure, we think you're a weirdo, but we don't hate you. - Devilrays At least you're not lonely to the point that you want to destroy the world...tell me when/if you are. - Puddmann FO, who is to say there's anything wrong with being a weirdo? I am a weirdo, tried and true, and damn proud of it. Maybe it's harder to understand people like you and me, but I don't really care. PUDDMANN, shut up about destroying the world and try to do something productive with it, like take it over. - Devilrays Yeah, don't destroy the world! Once Crawl and I get together, it'll go out with a bang! - Flying Omelette I'd consider it a privilege to even cuddle with you in just a burlap bag, so how could I say no to a pair (or in this case, quintet?) of comfy snugglejammies? - Crawl and 1000 to Flying Omelette I don't really hate anybody. I hate what some people do, and there are some people on these boards that give me the creeps, but I can't imagine just hating somebody, unless they did someting REALLY bad. - James FP I hate wearing shoes at work. I wait until no one's around, and I switch to my nice squishy sneakers! No one can tell I'm wearing sneakers since my feet are under the desk, and I change back to shoes when I leave! I love my squishy sneakers! - BJ Strykes No one comes to visit me anymore. Maybe I haven't been squishy enough. - BJ Strykes Acceptance...it's so hard to gain it..and once you lose it, it's gone forever. - BJ Strykes Sorry, I'm an anime fan who's off to live in the hills, as far away from civilization as possible. - Crawl and 1000 I've discovered the best way to get hits on a page is to stick the word "nude" somewhere on it. My Street Fighter 2010 review now has the most hits, even surpassing A Boy and His Blob. The reason? I mentioned that there are neon signs with nude women on them in the first level of the game. - Flying Omelette Oh, on the contrary Crawl's big, yellow, airborne, egg wrap. - Ash35 to Flying Omelette I'm sorry, FO. I changed my mind. You can archive my posts. I was just afraid it might cause problems for your site, but maybe I am being silly. - James FP You are silly. - HiRider Thank you! - James FP Every time I hear a "doom and gloomer" whining about how we're all gonna die soon, I tell him/her, "Well if you're so worried about it, why don't you do something and enlist in the army?" - Deathamster The idea behind fat free foods helping you lose weight is that they taste so bad, you won't eat any of it. - SethraShnoo I tried signing up with fortunecity but their shitty shit shit said my e-mail was "Jailed" probably some stupid ass zit faced 10 year old reported me, but i dunno how when my websites have been long gone from there! - RK Sparxster Hello. I'm a Pair of Socks. - BJ Strykes I usually don't commit people to memory. It's nothing personal. - BJ Strykes Ripoffs suck! Write your own damned song. - Luxverum Run over a brick wall, that should cheer you up! - Protocool I remember one we kept adding to it and adding to it and eventually, the program was about 30+ pages long when printed out! - Kiera Lordens You know, maybe if people weren't so obsessed with the word "Nazi" around these boards, then they wouldn't be hallucinating Swastikas where there are none. - Flying Omelette Troy, you have a strange obsession with googily eyes. - James FP The only thing in the universe that's even close to that cool is that Pikachu Beetle. I wish I had that car so I could go cruising in it. - Crawl and 1000 If I had that car, I would drive to the local country club, honk the horn madly until people came out, and then start doing donuts in the parking lot until I ran out of gas, or a crusty old baron came out and said "Well, I never!". - Hobbes Has anyone played Adventure Island? That game is too gay and I can't get the damn thing out of my mind. - WhatAboutRaven2 Ah, a dialect difference exposed yet again...I said "new guy" and in most normal places, "Guy" means strictly a male. But here in the nutty Midwest where I'm from, "Guy" is generic. It could mean anything. It could probably mean "hamster" or "compact disc." - Devilrays I'm sick of people gnashing chewing gum while talking to me. I'm sick of people who gnash it so loud, I can hear it all the way across the room. I'm sick of people standing behind me and shouting over to the person in the next cubicle. I'm sick of people in other departments hogging our copy machine, when there is a copy machine in each department, plus a public one they have to pass on the way into our department to get to ours! I'm sick of there not being anyplace to sit in the lunchroom, because the weightwatcher's group has their meetings during lunch hours in the cafeteria. I'm sick of people talking about nothing but health problems and death day in and day out! I fear I am going insane. - Flying Omelette I can especially relate to the chewing gum part. WHY don't people realize how annoying that is? Do people honestly think that others don't mind hearing what is the equivalent of a cow chewing on cud, especially while being talked to or trying to concentrate on work? I think I might even write to Dear Abby or Dear Ann Landers or both about this, and ask if they can please get the message across to their readers how annoying and rude this is! - Kiera Lordens I especially can't stand people who break into song because of "word association." I once had someone start singing, "Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me..." to me, just because I was eating an apple on my 15-minute break. I wanted to throw it at him. - Kiera Lordens Nothing will defeat my army of Chocolate Mousse and Whipped Cream! - James FP Why did Cartoon Network have to show Tenchi?! I always liked having Tenchi as my favorite anime, because it was something few people knew about! Now that it's so popular, if I tell people it's my favorite, they're gonna think I'm only saying that because it's so popular now! !@$%#&! Guess I'll have to start looking for a new favorite anime. - SethraShnoo I've always believed that the only reason Mumm-ra could never win over the Thundercats is because his minions were actually dumber than the Thundercats, themselves, which is a tough thing to accomplish. - SethraShnoo I almost always like the villains better than the heroes. - Liontamer I'm getting really sick of tail gaters. I guess I can understand that some people want to drive 70 miles per hour in a 35 mile per hour zone. But, if they do, why would it help them to stay 1 inch behind me at all times? If these idiots want to drive recklessly fast, they should have the skill to PASS before they drive so fast! How fricken hard is it to go around someone? I swear, every time someone tail gates me in the future I'll eratically tap my brakes. Maybe that'll make them think twice about being right up my ass. - Crawl and 1000 Actually, the best way to get people to post here is for one tiny little thing to go wrong, and then people will come in droves to whine about it. - Flying Omelette on the Game Pond I always did have the feeling that the people at this board need a "common enemy" to unite against, otherwise they start squabbling amongst themselves. - Flying Omelette I like BJ better when he's "evil". Sorry, but the goody-goody niceguy image had to go, sooner or later. - Flying Omelette Kain, I am not a very nice guy, contrary to what everyone wants to believe. I can only be pushed so far before I turn back into what I really am. ~evil grin~ - BJ Strykes Wow, i never knew u could get internet connection at the end of a tunnel. - TermiteJr I think the funniest group ever was DAWNOFEPIX. I think we were the only group who came up with the idea of creating an N-Sider profile that we all knew the password to. Sometimes, we'd all sign on as DAWNOFEPIX at once and talk to each other. When you looked at the bbs, all you saw were messages from DAWNOFEPIX all the way down. - SethraShnoo That, "I've been here since the days of Kid Icarus" line is gonna go down in N-Sider history as the second stupidest line ever, right after "controller poop". - Pero the Cat I know you were FatShnoo. I remember the first time I saw you post "I look like an egg". I didn't know what to think of you when I saw that. - HiRider to SethraShnoo hehehehehheheheee! I'm sitting on BJ right now! - SethraShnoo It appears Demo has taken over Raven's users. - Devilrays I don't pay all that much attention to music. I tend to like stuff that isn't repeated on the radio 8000000000 times a day. - James FP Whenever I heard rap I just wonder how many people the rapper has killed. - Bugforest I don't see how he could expect anyone to take him seriously when he puts on a wig and starts singing rock. I don't know though, as screwy as the music industry is today he just might pull it off. - Deathspork on Garth Brooks listening to ppl saying they like that CD makes me think of how some ppl r strange. - TermiteJr on the Pokemon CD FO has lost it now she uses nonsense OFF the nonsense board. - TermiteJr I'm trashing my Angelfire site right now as we speak! - Minerva K Red Hmmm, well, this kills (fortunately) my chance to make the most retarded joke in the history of the universe. ::sighs in relief:: - Crawl and 1000 But mishearing song lyrics is funny! "I blow bubbles when you are not near" was priceless!! - Kairobi King Why can't we just kill people like him? So what if posts go off-topic? Most are destined to do so. - cuttersDCut I'm a banana. - James FP The V will not be challenged by something so silly. - HiRider I don't care about being the smartest, most articulate, best gamer, etc. But I do care about being myself, and I care when people try to take that away from me. - Flying Omelette There's no sense in fearing if something bad will happen, since the worst thing would be to just stay here and do nothing all my life (as my mom would have it.) - James FP This is seriously *bageled* up!! - Doveblob I think it's about time we showed people how we do things "downtown". - James FP Is it just me, or does Bush sound alot like Thawhidol? - Flying Omelette I wanted Gore to win...but even I have to agree this is getting stupid. Maybe they should just declare Nader the winner. Where's Colin Powell when you need him? - Flying Omelette on the 2000 Presidential Election Yep. I'm a jackass, but I can't do anything about it, no matter how hard I try. - Kefkathe3rd Should I write some more DBDH Arena sketches or no? If yes, who should I write them about? - Deathamster Yes. Me vs. all the people on ezboard who still insist on blaming their personal problems on BJ. - SethraShnoo Umm...James, if I wrote DBDH Arena sketches every time someone *slightly* pissed me off, I'd have ALOT more than just 3. - Deathamster They show how stupid we all can be at times! - James FP on argument topics Any game with Emilio Estevez in it is the Best Game Ever Made!! - James FP Does anyone think this is a legitimate holiday? Well, maybe I should celebrate it anyway, since it'd give me an excuse to celebrate my love for FO! - Crawl and 1000 on "Sweetest Day" You know I don't add points till it's over. ... - HiRider I think it's over. - James FP Um, well, like, see, I don't KNOW either of these people...but I think I remember Agisuro from...somewhere...I'm not sure where, so, like, I'll put like 10 points on him. Don't know why...I guess I don't really know. I just..don't...know....(falls over) - Minerva K Red Yes! Dance for me, my little pretties! - Deathamster Oh, no, you've blown his cover! Now he'll have to hit the self-destruct button! - Crawl and 1000 I don't watch music channels at all. I want to listen to music, not watch it. - Flying Omelette Whatever happened to the music portion of MTV? MTV used to be all about music videos, now all it is is a boring fashion channel. - NextBillGates As they say in Mortal Kombat, "It has begun". - James FP I wonder if they purposefully make the Zelda games easier to appeal to a mass crowd, or if they're just out of ideas for the series - ideas that could present a challenge, anyway? - Deathamster BTW, why does everyone always say things are "90 times better"? Is there something significant about the number 90? - Brigade Delbrack I remember one time an art teacher told me that the anime drawings I do are too "easy". HA! Let's see him try! Granted, I'm not Akira Toriyama or Rumiko Takahashi, but I think my work is better than the crap he produced, anyway. - Deathamster People thought I'm a genuis because I was doing some basic Algebra in 3rd grade. - NextBillGates It's like how if Squall is ridiculous in Final Fantasy 8, the game comes off as awkward because it takes itself so seriously, while if some Chrono Cross characters are ridiculous, like Mojo, it adds some levity to the game without destroying the overall tone, because those characters are intentionally ridiculous. - Crawl and 1000 I am really beginning to despise paranoid people on the internet. I think we should put them all in a padded room and sick DH and GARDENHO on them. - Flying Omelette My old board looks like a bad web design cyclone hit it. - Junus Crowe The reason why they had to call it "Sewer Shark" and have it take place in a sewer is probably because the graphics pretty much looked like sh!t. - Morgannon [EGM] pointed out that Time Magazine said that Grand Theft Auto: Vice City is raising videogames to the level of art. Well, Time said that and bears responsibility for it, but I would never quote something like that without hastening to add that Time is clueless and games have reached the level of art over 15 years ago. - Crawl and 1000 One EGM reviewer in a recent issue said that if "Virtuoso" (a really crappy Jaguar game) came out in 1986, people would have hailed it as the best game ever. If a movie critic would say that, if Star Gate came out in 1979, opposite Apocalypse Now, it would have been hailed as the best movie ever because of its advanced special effects, that critic would be laughed out of the profession. - Crawl and 1000 I'm really getting sick of EGM lingo diluting down into message board communities. Thanks to them, "freaks" has been replaced with "fanboy", and they don't even have any idea what a "fanboy" is. By their logic, if you like anything, even just a little, you're a "fanboy". - ACC Kain We've all expressed joy over our personal victories, but there is a greater battle that we aren't exactly winning (I won't use the word "losing", though), that we have not been paying attention to...and it's a much more important one. The more retro-gaming sites that we get up and the more good reviews that we get out, the better it will be. I just took a look through the latest EGM, and I saw a lot of things that just make me want to puke! It's up to the retrogaming communities to build a better world image of video games. - Flying Omelette Well, until I find an emoticon equivalent of 0o they will always be inferior. - Troy Ha ha ha. I'm rolling in the aisles here. - Deathamster For some reason, I find emoticons annoying in the same sense that I find mimes annoying. - Morgannon And all this time I thought ezboard lamers had gone extinct. - Kairobi King One has to wonder why most of your members would be leaving? - Deathamster is response to a spammer who claimed he needed more board members because his were all leaving I don't care when people hate me. It gives me a reason to write DBDH Arena. - Deathamster RL OL, no difference. I just get tired of peoples prejudice, and just assuming things when they don't even know half the truth. - IJzebel I think I know what you mean. But I prefer not to kill them. I like to just humiliate them and drive them insane! - Deathamster Yes, it's really amazing what you can find by running searches on "Thawhidol", DH. - Flying Omelette I'm willing to bet my strawberry milk glass that the only reason they're picking on you so much is because they're trying to get to me. - BJ Strykes I've told this story before, but back when Tomb Raider first became really popular, I wasn't into playing video games at the time, and when I heard people everywhere talking about Lara Croft, I thought they were talking about a real person. For as popular as she was, I couldn't figure out why I'd never see or hear anything about her on TV or the Radio. - James FP Mai, somehow, has become a very popular character. I've known people, both on the internet and IRL, who are practically obsessed with Mai, but have absolutely no idea what she's from. - Setzer the Great Cosplay is a deadly art. - Tweeter911 Dammit! Warn us when you're gonna post something that scary! - Magnus Crowe Some of you guys need a hobby. - Liontamer to people getting excited about getting the 100th post on a board If you want to give me a shitty title, give me "My life consists of masturbating". - Tweeter911 Yeah...I would've pictured you to look more like a Golden Retriever...or Lhasa Apso. - James FP (on Team-VZQ changing Tweeter's custom title to "Leg-Humping Chihuahua") I am the world's only Vampire Cat. - Devlin Domaine I've disagreed with almost everyone at this board, at one time or another, but I still like and respect everyone. Some of the people I disagree with the most are also the people I like the most! ^_~ - SethraShnoo That's odd, for a person who slung so much mud on the name of the Game Pond and told so many people that we did nothing but argue 24-7, he sure seemed eager to post here. - Deathspork on TermiteJr Don't worry Pero, I'm confident that the CROWE won't lose. Magnus will just bore FO to death with one of his long speeches. - Ash35 Boy things certainly do change fast around here. It seems like only yesterday FO was insulting me and everyone hated her, but now she's practically a hero and an admin. - CataTonic9 My ability to fight this weekend will depend on whether or not my brother gets himself banned. - Junus Crowe did u make a typo NBG? - TermiteJr Man, speak full words! - WhatAboutRaven to TermiteJr Brother, get me a real name, or I'm stealing MOUSSE! - ACC Kain, when he was still using the name "JESSIEfromPokemon" I did find out that Andy744 made me an admin at his board! I advertised at his board a long time ago, and he gave me admin to it!! I was the only other person to post there with a registered name! HA HA HA HA! - James FP HHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!! I BEAT ALL OF YOU!!! I ONCE HAD ADMIN ACCESS TO EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN EZBOARD IN EXISTENCE!!!!! - Flying Omelette I'd rather have a few regulars on an EZboard than 100 guys that come by ever so often and make a post and leave. - Deathspork Giant Bananas shall conquer all of earth and beyond! - James FP DarthNess, do not anger me, for | am the vert|cal bar and | am |mperv|ous to most everyth|ng. That and | am more powerful than 20 yous put together. - Devilrays I actually came here through an ad that James posted at a board somewhere. I don't know what possessed me to follow through, since I don't normally click on people's board advertisements, but I did. And I'm still here. This is probably the only case of a board advertisement actually working. - Fenrir ...that's the first time I've ever seen someone actually want advertisements on their board... - Flying Omelette Well, it's a way to get members. - MacFlurry True - Flying Omelette Well, you were talking about speaking emoticon, so I decided to speak emoticon. In other words, there's a story to my post, and here's the translation: First, I was laughing at the idea of speaking in emoticon. I thought it was pretty ludicrous. But then I got whimsical and starting posting in emoticons myself. But then I got all freaked out when I realized that I was doing what I was thinking, and I was also surprised to think that people would get mad at me for being annoying. That made me mad. How could anyone get annoyed by that? But when I thought about it more, I started to become embarassed with my antics... Maybe even sick, or sad to think of it... Downcast. But, hey, it's all in good fun. So, I was acting like an emoticon nerd. Might as well have fun with it. So I had fun. It was silly. I was happy. Just some silly goofiness. Yes, you can say a lot with emoticons. - Crawl and 1000 When I was bored, I created a whole ezboard! - Pero the Cat It's just that DB is on a roll (or should I say bagel?) - James FP Little-known fact: I love feet pajamas, and I look cute and cuddly in them! I wear them all the time, and I want to snuggle with my Crawlie Smoosh in them! - Flying Omelette Natural selection saw to it that professional heroes who at a crucial moment tended to ask themselves questions like "What is my purpose in life?" very quickly lacked both. - IJzebel Just because it's not nice doesn't mean it's not miraculous. - IJzebel Every time I play a game like this that has a bazillion moves, I find this happens: I spend some time learning the moves, so I can execute them when I want to, then I try memorizing them, try to figure out which moves will be useful in which situations, try to find which moves can be chained into combos - then I start fights and find that almost all the moves are useless, and the best way to win is by either tapping buttons really fast or by using one single cheap move over and over. I always hear that if someone practices games like those for years they can eventually overcome cheap tactics like that, but what the hell's the motivation to do that? I don't think one-on-one beat-em-ups are worth that kind of trouble. - Crawl and 1000 Isn't it kinda odd that you have the option to change how much the female characters' breasts bounce? - Hobbes I wonder what it would look like if the breasts were set to maximum bouncyness... - NextBillGates Would you ever in a million years figure you'd hear yourself saying that phrase? - Deathspork (on Dead or Alive) You make 2 legendary series like Ninja Gaiden and Tecmo Super Bowl and get this kind of respect. - Deathspork in response to IGN calling Tecmo a "no-name" company I once argued with a college professor about that, Sethra. I quickly learned not to argue with him over anything, because he always gave me a lower test score when I did. - Kiera Lordens It seems some people are so obsessed that they need to know what the boot-up and loading screens on the PS2 look like. - robox I have to pay with 199 Baywatch episodes? - Crawl and 1000 I suppose you could, but would it be worth giving up all that Hasslehoff magic? - Hobbes That guy must've been Thawhidol's English teacher. - James FP in response to a voice clip about curse words Actually, Squaresoft does look out for the fans...seeing as how most video game fans only care about graphics and story, not gameplay, anymore. That's basically who they cater to. - Kairobi King The graphics seemed good, but what I didn't like was running out of fuel all the time! Michael Knight dealt with a lot of issues in the show...I don't remember not having enough gas being one of them! - Flying Omelette on the NES Knight Rider game Once I was really panicking because I couldn't get any sound, I checked just about everything. Then I found the solution to the problem, and turned it up at the knob. - Deathspork Korn sucks. I know that's not a constructive response, but I don't really care. - Xonorc Why are there so many threads around here about food? (I'm hungry...) - Flying Omelette I get to work with cheese and girls...Need I say more? - flY3K You really are the luckiest man in the world! - James FP This idiocy can't go on forever. - Flying Omelette You are the Diet Coke of evil, one calorie, not evil enough. - cuttersDCut