Caption Contest #7: Changing of the Guard


Here are the winning captions, in no particular order:


The thing Roger hated the most about getting "beamed up" is that his clothes would always be left behind. (Flying Omelette)

Ohhh... shouldn't have had so many drinks at the pub after guard duty last night. (cuttersDCut)

British soldiers defend themselves by doing what they do best - standing there while taking notice of nothing. It is especially effective when they are under attack by snipers. (Red Clawbot)

Although it was tragic that Bill's parachute didn't open, at least he managed to land in the ~exact~ spot where no one else was standing. (James FP)

Yes, he died, but he was british, so no one cared. (Crawl and 1000)

There ALWAYS has to be one joker in every crowd. (jup)

What the devil are they feeding to those horses? (jup)

Roy, you been eatin' beans again? (Rushifell)

At last, the long-lost episode of Seinfeld where Kramer joins the British military is found. (BJ Strykes)

Apparently, throwing water on the Wicked Witch's guards makes them melt, too. (Deathamster)

"Ouch." (Deathamster)

It was then Toby realized that, perhaps, it would be easier to stand if his pants legs weren't sewed together. (Deathamster)

"Everyone who still owns a Virtual Boy, assume the playing position!" (jup)

"I've fallen and I can't get up!" (Kairobi King & John Isles, iv)

Well, YOU lose the Marge Simpson imitation competition! (Sotenga)

An army of one...guy laying on the floor. (Sotenga)

"I FEEL ASLEEP!" (Sotenga)

"That isn't what I meant by "Fall Back"." (Kairobi King)

"Backs straight! ...No, Jim, that's cheating." (Bomberguy221)

The soldiers wanted winter to come so badly they pretended to make invisible snow angels. (Bomberguy221)

Terrence demonstrates how he got the nickname "Human Domino". (Magnus Crowe)

"I meant to do that." (Vampyrus)

*sigh* And everyone wonders why we lost the Revolutionary War. (Camira Breen)

"I found a quarter!" (Morgannon)

If you can guess which soldier is not like the others, then you have played our game! (Sedgewick)

I love my collection of life-sized toy soldiers, but damn, it's so hard to get them to stand up on their own. (SethraShnoo)

For the last time, Dave, you can't make a concrete angel. (Facilitypro)

As the tell-tale white "T" suggested, he was another victim of Torro, Zorro's lesser-known British cousin. (Flying Omelette)

Mac, how many times do we have to tell you, don't lie in the middle of the road when they're painting the lines? (SethraShnoo)

Allright. I know one of you is the Anvil Thief. And don't think you can get away by hiding it under your hat. (BJ Strykes)

After BJ humiliated himself by slipping and falling on the kitchen floor, he picked up the pieces and started on a new career. But alas, history repeats. (SethraShnoo)

Sethra learns the hard way that the swimming pool isn't filled in winter. (BJ Strykes)

Damn equal rights, letting even boneless people into the army. (Crawl and 1000)

Everyone knows steamrollers can kill, but no one knew how precisely they could be aimed. (Crawl and 1000)

Sir Randolph KNEW he was going to have to go to extremes to make the Caption Contest, once he saw the magical crotch clown that made the last round. (jup)

Even in adulthood, Ferris Bueller would still try to play hookey by leaving a dummy in his place, however it didn't work as well as it used to. (Flying Omelette)

Mike fell over laughing at the General's new Ed Grimley haircut. (Doveblob)

"As punishment for your crimes, you will all have to scrub the pavement with your hats! Seymore, you lead!" (Doveblob)

"Okay, who used too much starch in the washing machine, again?" (Troy Demetrius)

"I surrender!" (Troy Demetrius)

The Cossack Rollerblading Competition was just about to get underway when tragedy struck. (Troy Demetrius)

Proof positive that Oompa-Loompas do not make good soldiers. (Flying Omelette)

And the Grand Prize for "Best Impersonation of a Felt-Tip Marker" goes to... (ErniePants)

Sleeping on the Job. (Starscream)

"What's everyone looking at?" (Starscream)

"Nice shooting, soldier." (Starcream)

"That wasn't meant to be a bomb!" (ErniePants)

Oh, dash-it-all, another bloody drunk! We have GOT to stop putting our sign-up lists so near the local pub. At least his pants look dry... (Pokejedservo)

(BAM!) Does anybody else love the Kirby cartoon? (Deven711)

Wait, that was Kenny in disguise? Oh my god! They killed Kenny! You *******! (Deven711)

Yep. He's on Pot again. (Deven711)

"It wasn't me!" (Deven711)

(BAM!) "You shot me! You shot me right in the arm!" (BAM!) "Stop it!" (BAM!) (BAM!) (BAM!) Will this guy ever die? (Deven711)

I guess he got bored of just standing there and slept in public. (Deven711)

One Tin Soldier falls again!! (mal.fom)

"Until anyone admits to stealing the new guy's gas mask, nobody breaks formation!" (John Isles, iv)

Is your mattress so stiff that this is the most comfortable place to fall asleep? (John Isles, iv)

"OK, since Reginald was the only one who actually heard me the first time, I'll say it again: Sprawl out and spell GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!" (John Isles, iv)

"That cloud looks like a turtle. And that one, Big Bird. And that big, fat one looks like the broad who sung that aria last night..." (John Isles, iv)

"Look everyone -- I'm making dirt angels!" (John Isles, iv)

"I doubt this is the best time to do your Curly Howard impression." (John Isles, iv)

It's 1:00. Do you know where everyone's deodorant is? (John Isles, iv)

Newspaper caption: HE WON LYING DOWN: "Theodore Dwight Winthrop III, shown lying face-up, wins London's 2003 Simon Says Tournament by being the only participant not to stand up without Simon's request." (John Isles, iv)

Best impersonation of a domino I've seen since I got up this morning. (John Isles, iv)

"You know what we do to soldiers who lie down on the job? Show him, Trigger!" (John Isles, iv)

"I hope, for Britain's sake, he's the only Frenchman in our unit." (John Isles, iv)

"I've only had this afro for three hours, and I've fallen 61 times already!" (John Isles, iv)

"I guess we shouldn't have made him eat that old pizza last night after all..." (SirMetaKnight998)

"Why is that I always get stuck standing behind Billy Bo Bubba "Blaster" Bob?" (Junus Crowe)


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