Today, we are backstage at the DBDH Arena, talking with famous Game Pond Lamer, Thawhidol. Let's join our host DOVEBLOB, as she is currently interviewing Thawhidol on the set.

DB: So, Thawhidol, tell us a little about yourself.

TI: Well, basically, I think I'm smarter than everyone else..no make that, I know I'm smarter than everyone else, because the way I see it, if you disagree with me, you're stupid, and since everyone disagrees with me, they must all be stupid! In fact, I have a theory that the more I get people to disagree with me, the SMARTER I actually become. So I post really stupid stuff that nobody in their right mind would ever agree with, just to get people to disagree with me and make me smarter. Therefore, you could call me, an absolute genius!

DB: How do you answer to people who call you a hypocrite?

TI: I don't see myself as a hypocrite. I have done nothing.

DB: Oh, come on, now. I'll give you some examples. For instance, you said it was wrong for people to be upset by insults on the internet, yet you defended GH64 when he got upset. You also defended GH64 for getting upset over a picture of Sethra. Why do you think it's okay for someone to overreact to a photograph, yet not okay to react to an insult? Also, you have tried to force your belief on us many times that we should not care about people we know on the internet...that we shouldn't have "friends". Yet someone on the Video Games Discussion forum the other night claimed to be "your best friend". How can you have one opinion for other people, yet a different opinion for yourself or your friends? And let's not forget the issue where you told people to stop sticking up for Kiera, yet you have spoken up for both GH64, and the person who claimed to be "your best friend". Hmmm....It almost sounds like you're trying to turn people against the admins of the Game Pond. How do you plea?

TI: Well, ususally I just blurt out a bunch of double-talk, and throw in a few big words, even though I can't spell them, to make myself look smarter. As for being a hypocrite, like I said, the whole point is to get people to disagree with me and make me look like a genius...even if I have to contradict something I said earlier.

DB: But what about your strange bias towards the Game Pond's admins? There have been many explanations and theories...One is that you blame them for N-Sider, another says that you hate Kiera for not participating in your comic book. Others think you just like to annoy bbs admins. What is your true goal?

TI: It's a little of each, I suppose. When N-Sider closed, I found out the "creme of the crop" ended up in this dump called "The Game Pond". You see, the reason I was trying to brainwash Kiera, Sethra, and BJ into not caring for anybody, including each other, was because of my ultimate plan. First of all, I had to get everyone to believe my outrageous theories...everything from BJ being entirely responsible to the Y2K disaster, to Kiera being the third gunman on the grassy knoll, as well as the fourth gunman on the sandy lot, and the fifth gunman on the rocky plateau. Then I brainwashed everyone into believing they were stupid for disagreeing with me, and made them believe they shouldn't care about one another. This way, they would turn their backs on Kiera, Sethra, and BJ, and march mindlessly over to my site to be my slaves. There they would write boring interactive stories forever and ever, without ever disagreeing with one another again. We'd have total Peace and Quiet.

DB: Speaking of Peace and Quiet, how do you respond to the infamous "spamming" Peace and Quiet did to the main discussion forum at the Game Pond? Also, GH64, who you have stuck up for in the past, was banned for spamming the main forum with terroristic threats. There are rumors that you were behind it all. What do you have to say to that?

TI: Well, yes, you see, I believe in free speech, even if it does hurt others feelings (anyone besides me and GH64, of course, though, everyone else it's not okay to have your feelings get hurt). Or even if the speech constitutes "spamming" or "threats", people should be allowed to do whatever the hell they want. I know, I know, ezboard has rules that say you can't curse, and spamming pushes the decent conversation off the bbs, but that's the breaks! It's a free country.

DB: Hmm....It almost sounds as though you're only saying that because you WANTED this bbs to be destroyed...

TI: Well, once everyone migrates to my site, they won't need it anymore now will they?

DB: What about your thoughts on hackers?

TI: Hackers don't exist. I've never seen one, so I know they don't exist. And remember, don't disagree, because if you do, that makes you stupid, and I'll email Kiera at least 20 times about it. Oh, and don't tell me not to, because Kiera doesn't need bodyguards. Only GH64 does.

DB: Hmmm. Well, that's all very interesting, Thawhidol. I'm sorry, but that's all we have time for....

ALLRIGHT, STOP
THIS DEBACLE
RIGHT NOW!

Everyone turns and sees a tall, thin man wrapped in black tattered shrouds walk stand up and walk out of the audience, towards the stage. His face is pitched-white.

DB: I'm sorry. You have something to say, sir?

MAN: My name is Magnus CROWE, but you know me as.....

The man lifts up his arms. Out of the sleeves of his shroud stick two gardenhoes where there should be hands!

MAN: ...GARDENHO.

DB: Okay, Gardenho, did you have something to add.

GH: Yes. I am the biggest pain in the ass, lamer, flamer, spammer to hit the Game Pond! Flaming people and trying to make them look stupid, while in reality, making myself look like a total ass, is MY job. NO ONE moves in on MY turf!

Gardenho almost appears to float as he walks. He goes over and grabs Thawhidol by the shirt and lifts him.

GH: I WILL EXPOSE Y....

WAIT!!

DEATHAMSTER leaps over a balcony, down onto the stage.

DH: Stop, GARDENHO! Let's take it to the Arena!

GH drops Thawhidol.

GH: Fine. I'll meet you there.

TI: No, wait, you disagreed with me! I have to go send Kiera about 10 emails explaining what I really meant! And then I have to go make about 30 posts on the bbs complaining about Gardenho, and Doveblob, and Deathamster, and Rush Limbaugh, and BJ Strykes (for no real reason), anyone else I hate and can think of!

DH & DB: Oh no you don't!

They snap their fingers and two security guards come. They each grab one of Thawhidol's arms and drag him out the stage door and into the Arena.

DH: Well, folks, there you have it! Who is the bigger Pain in the Ass! Stay tuned and find out on DBDH Arena 1..