Ode to the N-Sider Lamers

by Deathamster

This is a little ode I wrote
Now, I did not do it to spite
It's just that I can only write an ode
When I have the inspiration to write

When I think of those times at the N-Sider
It's sad that my memory's most clear,
Out of all the people I had met there,
Of those who deserved a kick in the rear

First came along KongsBigDonkey
A typical lamer, I'm sure
The NOAs caught up to his antics
And booted him right out the door

Next comes that twit, Spyrolover
Who thought he could be quite a threat
And his antithesis was Spyrohater
Probably one and the same, I would bet

There was also this guy called XHIMY
And man what a loser he was
He would fight with people on the BBS
"Why?" might you ask...Just because

There was this guy on the Game Ideas board
I think he was called Reno of the Turks
If you saw even just one of his posts
You would see he was King of the Jerks

Into the Darkness appointed himself
Executioner, Jury, and Judge
He made up his "Lists for Deletion"
Man, was that guy full of fudge!

A guy named Ganondorf Dragonfire
Who also went by "Magnus CROWE"
When he wanted to be really obnoxious
He changed his name to GARDENHO

There didn't seem to be rhyme nor reason
To who, how, and why he would flame
He once picked on HiRider and BJ
For having too many usernames

I remember that loser, Ryan Gaunt
The King of the N-Sider Dipsticks
No matter how many times he was deleted
He came back as Ryan Gaunt 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6

But one night on the IS BBS
The predictable truth finally came
For Ryan Gaunt and his chief Arch Rival
Were revealed to be one and the same

Now why did people fear Scaramanga?
When I saw him, I thought, "Oh, gee whiz.."
Some said he was male, some said female
Hell, you don't even know what gender it is!

There was that fool, SquareSoftSux
He thought he had "justice on his side"
But Nintendo deleted him, anyway
There was no way they'd let his cursing slide

Flying Omelette had one day decided
To make a mockery out of that little turd
She registered the name "SquareSoftRox"
And gave about 9 or 10 people the password

And speaking of ole' Flying Omelette
I admit that she isn't that bad
But some of the things that she did on N-Sider
Had made many people quite mad

There's my old rival, Pero the Cat
Who'd been there since the days of Loudhouse
I fought with him time and time again
And I had no clue he was SUDDEN MEOWTH

I remember that guy LinkisJesus
Who proceeded to cause quite a stink
He said he'd never again be LinkisJesus
So he came back as JesusisLink

Now who in the world is EarthStarStryke?
For the Other RPGs BBS he was blamed
But how could someone cause such trouble
When I never had once seen his name?

Oh, and that dude, Rico Banderas
Now THERE was an N-Sider who was screwy
If you wanted to see his head explode
Mention two words: Banjo Kazooie

Now there was GH64
Who flamed people using bad grammar
"What do u liek thees grafics?"
Wanna bet he's our mystery spammer?

But perhaps, the biggest lamer of all
Is someone, by now, you should know
For of all the curmudgeony dictators
None was worse than NOADANO

"You must do as I say, and no questions!"
"Or else I'll delete your account!"
Say, why'd you delete Rufushinra?
"Because he said he did not like Earthbound!"

"Hey there, do you like The Legend of Zelda?"
"I'm sorry, I just don't go for that..."
"Well, perhaps, we have something else in common!"
Says NOA Dan, "Shut up! The BBS ain't for chat!"

We may argue and disagree, NOA Dan...
But I think you just don't realize...
Says he, "If you argue with anyone on the BBS,
It is to ME that you must apologize!"

How can we live under these conditions?
These rules are getting way too complex?
I will live in fear of being deleted
If I only mention the Sony PSX

Well, now the N-Sider is gone
And that's all the lamers I knew
Some of them aren't lamers any more
But most still are...sad but true!

So this is the end of my ode
And I'll just have to leave it at that
That is the way the story goes
So sayith....the Pokérat!

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