Janspork Fantasy

by NextBillGates

One day, Ash35 was walking in the park when he came upon a pair of pants lying in the trees. Now, a pair of pants off the park trail a little bit is nothing unusual (especially in the bigger cities like Oceanside, Chula Vista, San Diego, and Escondido), but these pair of pants could talk. The powers that be made the pair of pants move to Ash35.

"And who might you be, young one?", said the pants.

"Why do you want to know?", inquired Ash35.

"How many times a day do you see a pair of talking pants, kid?", asked the pants.

"Around 5 times", said Ash35. "What makes you so special?"

"Because I am the keeper of the Land of Balls", said the pants.

At this, Ash35's interest picked up a bit.

"Tell me more. By the way, my name is Ash. Ash Ketchum."

"Alright Ash, my name is Erniepants. I have a potion that will transfer you to lands afar. Do you want some?"

Ash was skeptical. "What's the catch?"

"I don't know if it works just yet."

Ash thought about it for a while.

"Ehhh, what the hell. I have nothing to lose. Hell, I'm just a character spawned from NBG's twisted imagination."

"Very well", said Erniepants.

Erniepants started a small chant.

"Where you will go"
"Nobody knows"
"But wherever you fall"
"There's sure to be balls!"

WHOOOOOOOOOSHHH!!!!! (sorry for the corny sound effect)

After a few dizzying moments of traveling beyond the limits of modern mini-fridges, Ash35 no longer resembles his human self. He looks more like a giant.

After staring at himself for a while, he looks around him. Nothing is in color anymore. Then, he sees a giant monkey walk buy with a woman.

"Ugh. Erniepants sent me into a B&W Japanese horror movie. Oh well, better make the best of things."

Ash35 picks up innocent civilians and eats their balls.

"AhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!", scream the people.

Ash35 picks up another frightened teenager.

"You won't dare to eat Deathspork's balls!!!!"



Ash35 continued to eat everyone's balls, until he started to feel sick.


WHOOOOOOOOOSHHH!!!!! (sorry for recycling the corny sound effect)

"Boy, that was sure something, Erniepants. Thanks a lot", said Ash35.

"You're welcome. Just being generous."

The next morning, Ash35 ceased to exist.

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