Super Mario RPG Fanfiction

by Crawl

Message from the Editor

Even though it's unfinished like everything else, this was my personal favorite fanfiction from the Game Pond. -BQ

A small but vicious-looking pitbull-faced goomba slinked shyly into the Mushroom Kingdom on the road that led to the royal palace. The native mushrooms who were in the streets, previously doing their chores or enjoying some recreation outdoors, glared at the fungi which had betrayed the other mushrooms by helping King Bowser and his Koopa Troop kidnap their beloved princess and create havoc in the Mushroom Kingdom so many times before. Perhaps in an earlier time one of the tougher mushroom citizens would, taking a cue from every mushroom's favorite hero, Mario, jumped on the little bugger and smashed him into the ground - but, of course, in an earlier time, no goomba would dare enter the Mushroom Kingdom alone. Today, however, the mushrooms limited themselves to nasty whispering and gossiping, for it was not long ago that the Koopa Troop helped the hero Mario rid the mushroom world of the terrible villain Smithy, and a member of the Koopa Troop would at least be safe, if not respected or trusted.

When the goomba reached the door of the palace, he said to the mushroom retainer guards in the most imperial voice he could manage (which was very, very high, though gruff, like the roar of a lion if it had inhaled a lungful of helium. It was all the retainers could do to keep from laughing at the goomba's silly self-importance), "I am Perfidy, royal koopa courier, and I bear a message to the Princess Toadstool, Mario, and the Chancellor on behalf of the great King Bowser, leader of the Koopa Troop!"

The leaders of the Mushroom Kingdom were expecting a visit from one of the Koopa Troop's emissaries. After joining forces with Bowser to defeat Smithy, none of the Mushroom Kingdom's rulers knew what to expect next. Would Bowser be up to his old tricks, stealing the princess away and trying to conquer the mushroom world as soon as he was back on his feet or would their hasty alliance become something permanent? Since this goomba appeared to come in peace, the retainers opened the huge mahogany doors of the palace and led the goomba in.

The inside of the palace was luxurious - finely painted portraits of great mushroom heroes and leaders, brightly lit by stained-glass windows crafted by the world's most distinguished artists. As the goomba saw this great palace, filled with his mushroom relatives, he felt for a moment bitter regret - he lived in King Koopa's cold, stone castle, and the only furnishings there were the moss that grew on the cold granite. And if he had lived here, he'd be with his fellow mushrooms, not annoying turtles who believed they were better than him. He quickly forgot all such doubts - they reached the chancellor's door, and he was overwhelmed by nervousness. Besides, as a little goomba there was just enough evil in him to accept living with the koopas in their stoic conditions if it meant he might someday help take over the world.

The princess was sitting in her throne ("That uppity little..." the goomba thought), with Mario, Luigi and Toad to her right, and the Chancellor to her left. The walls of the room were lined with mushroom guards. However, despite all the attacks by Bowser, the Mushroom Kingdom was filled with essentially peaceful people and the guards did not look particularly intimidating. In fact, it looked like some of them, perhaps in an effort to be like Mario, had taken to overeating. "Ha," the goomba thought smugly, "What losers! It's a good thing I'm on the right side!" And he may have had something there - how many times did Bowser successfully kidnap the princess from within these very walls?

What the goomba said (out of turn - this goomba was not well educated and knew nothing of the protocol of dealing with mushroom royalty. Bowser himself knew nothing of it either - after all, he'd rather kidnap the princess than talk to her - or he would have chosen a different envoy) was, "His royal highness and koopa-ness, the burly Bowser, has, um, invited you, ah, Mario, Luigi, the Princess and Toad, to celebrate the reconstruction of Koopa Castle with a huge feast. Since you are members of the Koopa Troop!", he added hastily.

"Wait, wait little goomba! We haven't even been introduced. I am Princess Toadstool."

"Ciao! I'ma Luigi!"

"I'm Toad!"

Boing, boing, boing! Mario jumped up and down three times in place with a large goofy grin hidden under his enormous mustache.

"I'm Perfidy. Uh, madam." Perfidy then attempted a little bow, but since he had no hips, just feet under his head, he tottered and nearly fell.

"Well, Perfidy, you should know that in our kingdom, we don't like to talk business before dinner," said the Princess. "As a guest of mine, you'll be staying in our royal guest room. One of the guards will see you to it, and you can prepare for dinner. If you wish to be entertained before then, one of my men can show you the sights of the city."

"Thank you very much, uh, madam. I appreciate your hospitality."

A guard stepped forward. He gave the goomba a sloppy salute, grinned, and said, "Hello, Perfidy! Nice to meet you! Your room is this way!"

The guard led Perfidy out of the room and huge mahogany doors slammed closed behind them. As the guard led him to his destination, Perfidy, feeling awkward because of the silence, asked the guard, "What's it like working here?"

The guard replied without hesitation, "This is a great job. I have a lot of responsibilities, the food and pay are good, and I can go to school for free. I'll be an officer soon!"

"Congratulations," Perfidy said remotely. They continued along the palace's halls silently.

Along their journey Perfidy saw something which he could not believe. He stopped and stared at it, confused. The guard continued for many more paces before he realized the goomba was no longer at his side, turned around and returned to him.

Though the entire hall was filled with enormous statues, the one that Perfidy was staring at was different from all the others. It was a marble statue at least ten feet tall of a goomba.

"Heh heh," the guard chuckled. "I can see why you're surprised about that! I guess it's time for me to play tour guide." He cleared his throat melodramatically. "Centuries ago, long before the Koopas ever invaded our kingdom, goombas were just as respected as any other mushroom. This goomba, Nightshade, wasn't just respected - he was one of the Mushroom Kingdom's greatest heroes! A mysterious pipe appeared from the ground a few miles from the town, and within days hideous monsters came out of the pipe and attacked us. We weren't prepared for an attack, but Nightshade organized our troops and fought in the front lines of the battle himself. He eventually made it to the pipe and sealed it from wherever those monsters came from."

Perfidy was silent for a moment, and the bitter regret he felt earlier returned. He finally asked, "What were the monsters that came from the pipe?"

"There are paintings of Nightshade fighting them in our Museum. If you stay, you could visit it and see them."

Perfidy nodded his head and said, "I'll do that. Thanks."

The guard and Perfidy eventually reached the guest room. The guard opened the door and the two entered. "Here it is. If you need anything else, pull this rope." The guard motioned to a thick rope by the door whose top disappeared into curtains which went around the room. "It leads to a bell in the servant's quarters that will ring if you pull it. The Princess will be expecting you for dinner at seven o'clock. " The guard then stood still and grunted, "Ah HEM!"

Perfidy had no intention of tipping the guard. "Thank you, and good day. I don't need anything else." The guard left, a bit disgusted with the quiet, rude goomba guest.

Perfidy looked over the room, but after his long journey from Bowser's castle, he was most interested in the bed. It was inviting not only because he was tired, but also because in Bowser's castle the closest thing to a bed was a slab of stone only slightly softened by dry, irritating hay. He hopped up onto the pillow - the rest of the bed went to waste, since his entire body fit on the pillow - and drifted into a deep, dream-filled sleep.

In the royal throne room, Luigi paced nervously as he twisted and wound his mustache with his fingers.

"I don't like it! Bowser inviting us to his castle! Something must be up!"

"I wouldn't worry, Luigi. I'll be able to take care of things. I'll just bring a bazooka along as insurance!," said Toad.

"We could simply not accept Bowser's invitation," said the Princess, "but why should we do that? Because we're afraid of Bowser luring us into a trap? Well, I'm not afraid. If we're such cowards that we can't even accept an invitation, we have no business ruling the mushroom kingdom. We have more to gain than risk by visiting Bowser. This could be a chance to have peace forever in the Mushroom Kingdom."

"I wanna know what my bro Mario thinks," said Luigi.

Mario thought for a moment, then walked in place. He mimed saying hello, turned around and growled ferociously and shook his arms. He turned around again and mimed shaking a hand. Then he turned around, growled some more, and once again mimed shaking hands. Then he faced the rest of the royal chamber with a smile on his face.

"I see, Mario. You think that Bowser might be ferocious, but if we went we could become friends?"

Mario nodded his head in agreement.

"I still think we need a plan B. With all the times Bowser has kidnapped the Princess I'm sure he'd love to capture all of us so he could take over the Mushroom Kingdom with no one to save us or stop him."

"I agree that we should be cautious," said the Princess, "but we do have friends who'd be willing to stop him. I'll send an ambassador to Johnny Jones to inform him that we'll be visiting Bowser and don't know what to expect. If we vanish, Johnny will know something is wrong and he'll help."

"But'a Princess," asked Luigi, "do you really think Johnny could stop Bowser?"

The Princess looked thoughtful for a moment and answered hesitantly, "I'm not sure. Bowser has his powerful army of koopas, and since his castle has been rebuilt we can be sure his power is as strong as it ever was. But even if Johnny would have trouble with Bowser on his own, our own mushroom troops will be ordered to help him."

"I guess that's the best we can do," sighed Luigi. I just hope Bowser has good stuff to eat."

"Princess, I'll send the ambassador to Johnny immediately but it'll take some time for him to arrive. We can't visit Bowser until Johnny is ready, but we can't let Bowser know we don't trust him," said Toad.

"Toad, if Bowser thinks we trust him he's far stupider than I ever could have thought. But you're right - we'll have to prolong Perfidy's stay here and keep him unsuspecting at the same time."

"No, problem Princess," said Toad enthusiastically. Mario hopped, nodded his head and gave the finger-and-thumb OK sign.

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