Some game ideas from our good friend, Bomberguy221! He can write some really funny stuff!

  • A Boy and His Blog
  • Beat the Clock
  • Birthbound
  • Body Harvest Moon
  • Chickenwings
  • Chrono Hair Trigger
  • Crouching Tiger, Double Dragon
  • Drab Racer
  • Filkin' to the Oldies
  • Final Fantasy 6/10ths
  • Final Fantasy Football
  • Hasslevania
  • Imperfect Dark
  • Jack Thompson: Ace Attorney
  • Kid Narcissus
  • Lazy Taxi
  • Legend of Zelda: Ganon's Golf Open
  • Luigi Paint
  • Mindsweeper
  • Mommy Met My Neighbors
  • Pocky & Rock
  • Pokemon Snape!
  • RoboShrek
  • Secret of Nevermore
  • Skies of Arcades
  • Sleet Fighter
  • Slim City
  • Solitary
  • Street Driver: Turbo Engine Revival
  • Super Mario Moonshine
  • The Truth Shall Set You Free
  • Vegetable Crossing
  • Yoshi's Temptation Island

  • A Boy and His Blog

    A kid copes with teenage angst with a weblog from outer space.

    Beat the Clock

    Okay, the object of this game is to beat the clock. There's a 4k track you have to run on, filled with obstacles like other runners, bicyclists, people holding cups of water, and (in the final kilometer) herdles. When you reach the end, you get a baseball bat to beat your alarm clock with.

    Get it? Beat the clock! HAHAHAHAHAHA... Yeah, so. Enjoy.


    You're a woman in her third trimester. Can you make it to the hospital in time? On the way there, you meet a man who is a good-looking physical therapist, a boy who can fix things in ICU overnight, and a religious figure to prevent you from cursing out the doctors.

    Body Harvest Moon

    You go through Flower Bud Village with an Uzi. That'll teach them for not making you Harvest King!


    You try to earn a license in culinary school. Supposedly, Fara Phoneix makes a cameo as a sushi chef.

    Chrono Hair Trigger

    It's like the Butterfly Effect, where so much as stepping on a blade of grass in the past kills an entire village in your time. If you manage to kill your relatives, you get swallowed up by the fourth dimension. That starts a lengthy FMV where a blue thing walks around and sleeps while the credits roll.

    Crouching Tiger, Double Dragon

    If you press the jump button, you don't land for 10 seconds. Nevertheless, you still can't get over that idiotic bridge in the third level!!

    Drab Racer

    You drive to uninteresting places like the farms of Ohio, the deserts of Nevada, and almost any highway in Oregon.

    Filkin' to the Oldies

    In this game, you have a selection of several songs from the 70's, 80's and 90's that you can use to make a filk, or a song with fan-made lyrics. You write the lyrics, sync the lyrics with the music, and then perform the music.

    The performance will be done with a microphone (like X-Box Live uses). You'll sing the song in its entirety, then Naomi Judd, a rude British guy, and an Irish woman covered in soccer balls will tell you how awful the song was.

    If you create a good filk, then you never have to play this game again. Trust me: that's a reward.

    Final Fantasy 6/10ths

    It's like Final Fantasy 6, only Setzer didn't rebuild the Falcon... So you can only get 6/10ths through the game.

    Final Fantasy Football

    Well, in thinking of this title, two ideas came to mind. The suggested one:

    Pit all of your favorite characters from the Final Fantasy games in a game of tackle football. Avalanche vs. Returners? Cecil vs. Sabin? Barret vs... Relm? O_o;;

    The downsides to this game is that, like many fanfictions that attempt to cross over certain characters, the game makes little sense. Not to mention that the female characters aren't worth the paper their official art is printed on, and the people who prefer the older games will most likely destroy any copy they get their hands on.

    But nobody really blames them.

    And the other one:

    An angst-ridden coach gathers a band of unlikely teammates into a football team. On their way to the Super Bowl, they face whimsical adventures, evil opponents, and attempt to save the world during Halftime before winning the cup.

    The downsides to this game, of course, is that each football game is just like the last, there is a very complicated summoning system where you must summon a player from leave only when trading another player (unless you have enough money to do otherwise, or you're wearing a certain accessory) and while putting another player on leave in his place, and the angst-ridden coach looks like a male Jennifer Lopez. Oh yeah, and they attempt to release FFXFL, but it bombs because there aren't enough FMVs of the cheerleaders.

    Which do you prefer, #1 or #2? I know they're both stupid, so I've included a third option:

    Square, wanting to branch out, makes a football game. Hilarity ensues.

    1, 2, or 3?


    You have to go around to different mansions by foot looking for objects. Everyone will ignore you or talk to you in Spanish, it's uphill both ways, and you end up collecting a crystal which is inferior to one you will collect later. Did I also mention it takes roughly two hours just to reach ONE mansion? On the bright side, it's not as stressful as prosessing, and there are no ducks...

    Imperfect Dark

    The lighting effects on this game are so realistic that your character will go blind after looking at a light for a prolonged period. Certain devices used to aid in this process are the sun, a crystal that refracts light into your eyes, and a Virtual Boy.

    Jack Thompson: Ace Attorney

    In this game, you try to get the game "Jack Thompson: Ace Attorney" banned for teaching children how to be bad human beings. You do this by exaggerating how evil you are, making childish insults to the opposition, and stating that any people who question your behavior are crazy and on the opposite side themselves.

    You win when you get your own ESRB rating up to AO. You lose if you lose your license to practice law. Or, well, since that means that the evil game didn't win, you win. No, wait, hold on... Uh, um, er...

    It has good graphics.

    Kid Narcissus

    You play as a boy named Core who is looking for a mirror to stare at for hours on end.

    Lazy Taxi

    You need to get people to other locations REALLY SLOWLY.

    Legend of Zelda: Ganon's Golf Open

    Well, after hearing assorted reviews of Wind Waker (A game which I happen to be okay with because it's relaxing), I notice that almost every review I've read ranging from the "you spend half of your time sailing" to the "Savage Labyrinth rules!!" has some mention of Horseshoe Island, aka "The golf course".

    So let us extend this lovely experience into a full game. First, let's all agree that this won't be milking the franchise of anything that could generate a profit. It's for the good of the people. Okay? Good.

    Next up: The characters. I guess we'll have Ganon as your competition, but we must decide if this shall be a new Link, or one of the old ones (OoT/MM Link, WW Link, 8-bit, 16-bit, LttP Link). This is important, since any new Zelda game will cause a SARS-esque outbreak of "Zelda timeline" posts. Oh yeah, and Zelda, too. At least she can do something now...

    After that: Graphics, since this is quite obviously the chief concern to gamers everywhere. Even moreso than gameplay, since the cel-shading ruined WW (It COULDN'T be the sailing!). Let's just give "realistic" adult graphics to the game. Maybe have a beach course where they all end up in their bathing suits and rumors spread of a naked code. That'll make everyone happy.

    Following that: Plot. Ganon is going to win the Triforce Cup, and rule over the 18-hole Hyrule forever! Fortunately, Link and his friends Zelda, Impa, Tingle, Saria, a Goron and a Zora will help him putt to victory. Oh yeah, and there's three tournaments. Din, Nayru, and a secret one which I'm not going to tell you the name of... How'd you guess?

    Last, and least in the minds of many: Gameplay. Have Kokiri Wood clubs (With a Deku Leaf as a putter), masks that give you stat boosts, characters that vary in strength and accuracy (i.e. Goron hits far, but he hits into the OB zone every time...), and golf balls made out of Deku nuts, Deku seeds, pearls, Octorok projectiles, and any other round object that appears in at least one of the Zelda games. The ultimate club you get after beating Ganon: The Master 9-Iron!!

    Oh yeah, and there's a way to collect trophies of every club, ball, character, course, flag, hazard, tee, and Triforce in the game. It shall be great! >D

    Luigi Paint

    The paint is thinner and not as bold, but people will still want more pictures made with it.


    You play as a janitor in a brain surgeon's laboratory. Let's just leave it at that.

    Mommy Met My Neighbors

    Your mother greets the people next door. The goal is to make the family move away before the property value drops on your house. You do this by using a chainsaw on their hedges and dressing up like a giant baby, among other things.

    Pocky & Rock

    You play as a Japanese snack food or a boulder trying to save a tribe.

    Pokemon Snape!

    In this game, you play as Professor Severus Snape from Hogwarts trying to capture all (however many there are now) Pokemon. To do this, you throw potions at them to knock them out or do other strange things to them.

    The more Pokemon you catch, the more points Gryffindor loses. You win when you catch all the Pokemon and Gryffindor has to take out a point loan from Hufflepuff just to keep their heads above water.


    You're a young ogre whose father is a famous storybook legend. You try to become the same by becoming a blind mouse, talking to animals, and making three fiddlers play using only a pipe and a bowl.

    Secret of Nevermore

    You play as Edgar Allan Poe trying to figure out how a raven learned to speak human language. You get bonus points if you figure out where Annabelle Lee is, and you recover health by finding casks of amontillado.

    Skies of Arcades

    Giant machines with Pac-Man and Frogger in them crash to the ground, and you have to dodge the hailstorm. The final boss is a DDR machine.

    Sleet Fighter

    You play as a meteorologist trying to predict where and when a winter storm will hit so you can give people ample warning.

    Slim City

    You try to make a metropolis by making carb-free houses.


    You play cards in a prison, hopefully unnoticed by anyone else.

    Street Driver: Turbo Engine Revival

    I think Capcom should take a page from Konami and Nintendo's books and make a racer featuring some of their characters. More specifically, the characters from Street Fighter. You can pick up Hadokens to use on other drivers, and steal other weapons with a Hundred Hand Slap.

    Dhalsim would naturally drive a rubber band car.

    Super Mario Moonshine

    You get drunk and make slurs about your Italian brother, not to mention that blonde you've been dating.

    The Truth Shall Set You Free

    In this game, you play as a young, feminine-looking boy named Dento. Why? I don't know, it's probably based on mythology or something. Anyway, Dento is on a quest to find the truth. He'll meet many whimsical friends, like a thief, a lawyer, and a politician. The battle system is really interesting...

    Enemy: Ready to die, mortals?
    Thief: Actually, you don't fight us. You just give us your money and experience points.
    Enemy: ...Is that so?
    Politician: Yeah! I'll take you to golf if you do.
    Enemy: Okay! *gives money and exp.*

    If you manage to beat the game, then you get the truth. The ending is like Earthbound, in the sense you get to walk around and talk to everyone. You get to see who was lying to you.

    Dento: Did I really need new brake fluid?
    Auto worker: Nope! I just wanted to overcharge you.

    Thief: Does Santa really exist?
    Mother: No. I just said that to keep you in line.
    Thief: Psh, yeah, that worked!

    Lawyer: Are we getting dressed up for Halloween this year?
    Co-worker: Not at all. However, you're welcome to come in your pajamas so we can belittle and demean you.
    Lawyer: ...I'll pass.

    Dento: Did you put that wrestling cartoon on your schedule just to introduce the idea of homosexuality to your young viewers?
    FOX: Absolutely.

    Politician: Did you really think that "Game Over" was an original idea?
    Team-VZQ: Yeah. Just not ours.

    Thief: Why haven't you seen Casablanca yet?
    FO and Crawl: We don't like watching good movies.*

    Dento: Is Bomberguy going to get flamed for this game idea?
    Lawyer: Probably. At least there aren't multiple endings in this game.

    *NOTE: Subjective answers can still be lies.

    Vegetable Crossing

    You live in a town whose population consists of an ear of corn, two tomatoes, and a head of lettuce.

    Yoshi's Temptation Island

    You play as Yoshi who ends up on an island with a bunch of fruit that is poisonous. Can you avoid the desire to eat?

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