Crawl and 1000 is very skilled at writing both funny and serious game ideas. You can find even more hilarious stuff at his website, Crawl and 1000's Page.

  • Annoying 64
  • Board Game Collection
  • Christmas Tree Adventure
  • Crawl and 1000 64
  • Dodo Pachi
  • Duck Hunt 2
  • Extra Innings 2
  • Hibernation 64
  • Improved D-Pad
  • Maximo Eddie
  • Million Dollar Baby 2
  • Pokemon 64: Special Pikachu Edition
  • R-Type Special Deluxe Edition
  • Self Destruct
  • Super Mario Bros. 64 Collection
  • The Human Stain: The Game
  • The Wizard 2
  • To Kill a Mockingbird: The Game
  • Total Recall: The Game
  • Video Game Crossover #1
  • Werewolves Outside the Car 64
  • Wooden Gear Solid

  • Annoying 64

    You're sick of the general stupidity of a lot of humans, so you decide to get your revenge by being as annoying as possible [as an aside, I think this ranks among the best game stories ever]. If someone ever says anything that could be considered to be in some way "correct," shout out, "Meeeowth! That's right!" Answer every question asked of you with, "Because I love you." Eg., "Why, when you borrowed my car, did you crash it into a tree?" "Because I love you." If someone ever doesn't hear what you say properly and says, "What did you say?" reply with, "That's what I said!" Or if they say, "What?" reply with, "That's what!" The game's end boss is someone else who fancies himself annoying by repeating everything anyone says. When you catch on you say, "Are you repeating everything I say?" to which he replies, "Are you repeating everything I say?" Well, two can play that game, so then you say, "Are you repeating everything I say?" This continues until one of you dies of thrist. If you survive you are the undisputed most annoying person in the world! I forgot to mention that you get an extra life every time someone screams at you, "Oh, you're really mature!"

    Board Game Collection

    I noticed that Monopoly still sells on game systems by itself. How much memory can Monopoly take? I'd imagine you could fit at least dozens of board games on a single CD or DVD.

    And I thought of how I saw some somewhat obscure board games as a child - Advance to Boardwalk, Prize Property, Go For Broke, etc. - that are, at this point, more or less gone forever.

    So, the idea is just to have an archive of lesser known board games.

    Christmas Tree Adventure

    When I was a little kid, and the Christmas tree was decorated and up, and maybe the presents were under it, my sister and would sit under the tree, and imagine that it was a world unto itself.

    That made me think that it could be cool to have a videogame that took place in a Christmas Tree. Logically, it seems the most straight forward way of making a task out of that would be to start at the bottom and work your way to the top. Possibly the goal there could be to light the star at the top. For a slightly "darker" theme, the angel at the top could have been kidnapped, and now an evil Dark Angel sits at the top of the tree, and is the game's final boss.

    I visualize the game as a 3D platformer. If the game goes from the bottom of the tree to the top, then, to incorporate some Christmas Tree theme into it, near the top, where it's narrow, stages could be wrapped around the tree, like a 3D version of the tower in Battletoads.

    Lower on the tree, where the tree would be broader and could extend quite a ways, the stages could have just about any layout imaginable.

    The Christmas tree layout could suggest a few obvious themes for settings, but aside from green, and lights, and bulbs/balls, my favorite Christmas tree ornaments as a child were the more distinct things: Angels on clouds, skiers, stained glass. These could be incorporated into the game in various ways. Just off the top of my head, there could be "minigames", so skiing with the skiier could be like sliding with the penguin in Mario 64. If an ornament had a scene inside, perhaps it could be entered, to add some variety to the settings.

    Crawl and 1000 64

    In this game, you play as, in Sethra's words, "what could possibly be the sexiest guy on the whole internet!" You want to sign up for N-sider, and want to choose a name which captures your personality, whose most dominate trait is that you want to crawl on Flying Omelette 1000 times (well, 1000 times for a start!). But "IWanttoCrawlOnFlyingOmelette1000Times" is too long for an N-sider name! (BUT NOT TOO LONG FOR EZBOARD!!) So you decide to shorten it to Crawl and 1000.

    Eventually you find that what your name means is a big mystery, so there's no way you can reveal what it means! Sethra will try everything she can, including asking you, to find out why you choose that name, but the goal of the game is not to tell. If you hold out long enough, someone else will reveal what your name really means. Unfortunately, Sethra won't believe you. The only way to prove it to her is to write up this incredibly convincing game idea! Then you get to see the incredible ending sequence, which is better than the endings to all the Final Fantasy games put together: Sethra will tell you what your nickname is!

    Now who doesn't want to CRAWL to the store AND buy 1000 copies of this game?

    Dodo Pachi

    Hunt animals to extinction with a space ship.

    Duck Hunt 2

    It should be exactly like Duck Hunt, but every 15 rounds there should be a big duck that takes about 20 shots to beat.

    Now that I think about it, my original idea strayed too far from what Duck Hunt "is all about".

    Now, I think I better idea for Duck Hunt 2 would be to be exactly like Duck Hunt, but with more digits in the score so it takes longer to roll over.

    Extra Innings 2

    It's exactly like Extra Innings, except that when the game goes into extra innings, you get to hear the voice from the beginning of the game scream "Extra!" "INNINGS!"

    And there's one other new feature: You're allowed to contest balls ruled foul. But every time you do, you just hear, "Fair is foul, and foul is fair."

    Hibernation 64

    In this game you play as a bipedal mammal whose desire for sleep and hatred of the cold lead you to sleep from December 1st to March 1st. The question is, can a human really hibernate? Only by playing this game will you be able to answer this question. It plays like a simulation game, and begins in the Summer. You need to acquire and eat enough food to gain enough weight so you can survive 3 months without eating. Next, you need to get lots of blankets to keep you warm all winter long. When Winter finally comes along you'll need to completely empty yourself out, so to speak, because you if you're in a truly deep sleep you won't be able to use the bathroom for a long time. The final challenge is to lower your metabolism to the point that you can survive in an extended state of inactivity. The game ends either in Spring, where you awake, refreshed, thin, and happy that you missed the bitter winter, or when you first wake up, and then die because you didn't prepare well enough.

    Improved D-Pad

    I think the d-pad is the best way for controlling games, but after playing several games where I wish I could adjust the character's speed somewhat in a simple matter, I think an improvement needs to be made. My suggesting is to have each direction of the d-pad be able to be pushed down to two different levels, with a slight click as you reach the boundary of the first level, to offer more control over games, while maintaining the accuracy that comes from a d-pad.

    Maximo Eddie

    This game takes place after Maximo's adventures in hell, when he returns to the normal world. There, he yells, "The colors! The COLORS!" And then, "The flames! The flames!"

    Trust me, this is amusing at the very least if you're familiar with Hell for 3D0.

    Million Dollar Baby 2

    It should turn out that the reason the daughter never replied to any of the letters was just because she was really busy. Also, she moved.

    Pokemon 64: Special Pikachu Edition

    This is a port of the highly popular "Pokemon" game to Nintendo's home console, the "Nintendo 64." All the monsters that are found in the GB version are here to find, capture, train, and, with the exchange pack, trade! All the graphics have been redone in horrendous reduced geometry polgyon crap. Because Pikachu is the most popular pokemon, this special Pikachu edition has the feature that when Pikachu does his Thundershock attack, the game electrocutes you until your heart fibrillates.

    R-Type Special Deluxe Edition

    This is a special arcade cabinet that commemorates the difficulty level of the arcade classic R-Type. The graphics, level design, control and music have been preserved exactly. But you better not die, because if you do the machine will explode and kill you!

    Self Destruct

    This is just a normal action game, but when you lose the game explodes and kills you.

    Super Mario Bros. 64 Collection

    Just like Super Mario All Stars, and to a lesser extent, Super Mario Bros. DX, this collection is intended to introduce a new generation of gamers to the classic Nintendo franchise, the Super Mario Bros. series. All the classic 2-D games in the series are included, and you can choose to play them with their classic graphics, or an "enhanced mode" with detailed 64 bit graphics, and an uncountable number of layers of beautiful parallax scrolling. Either way you play, if you fall in a pit in the games a huge hole will open up in the ground beneath you and you'll fall in!

    The Human Stain: The Game

    It's Duck Hunt, but the ducks have been replaced with Monica Lewinski's dresses.

    The Wizard 2

    During the N64 era, there should have been a sequel to The Wizard, which would have pumped up excitement for Super Mario 64 just as the original Wizard did for Super Mario Bros. 3.

    It all comes down to the final round, when Super Mario 64 is revealed to be the ultimate test.

    First, the players all sit through the opening letter from Princess Peach. Then they run around for a while outside the castle. They go inside and talk to the first toad. Finally, they enter Bob-omb Battlefield. They run around there for a while. Then... time's up! The contest is over!

    There also should be The Wizard 3. This would feature Super Mario Sunshine. When that game is used in the contest, time would run out even before the opening cinema is finished.

    To Kill a Mockingbird: The Game

    This game is exactly like Duck Hunt, only all the ducks have been replaced with mockingbirds.

    This game will KILL the competition!

    Total Recall: The Game

    This is the game designed to follow the exact same plot as the hit movie!

    The stages include activities such as wrapping a wet towel around your head, grabbing a suitcase away from an old lady, planning a vacation, and making a recording of you saying, "Get yahhr ahhs to mahhrs!" for youself to hear later.

    Bonus points for killing your wife while saying, "Consider that a DIVORCE!" or killing someone with a drill while yelling, "SCREW YOU!" Bigger points if those murders are apropos of nothing, and yet bigger points for walloping someone with a pan while yelling, "Guess your idea didn't really PAN OUT!", or choking a woman with a piece of piano wire while yelling, "Sorry to STRING you along!"

    (Game includes a microphone ala Hey You Pikachu for this to be feasible)

    This game will be a TOTAL smash hit!

    Video Game Crossover #1

    Dekar and Ultros, in their own game!

    Werewolves Outside the Car 64

    In this game, you play a hapless motorist who is stranded in your car, which is surrounded by hungry werewolves, on the night of a full moon. Your doors are locked at the start of the game, which prevents the werewolves outside from getting in. The goal of the game is to think of excuses to open the door so the werewolves can kill you. For example, to kill time you might work on a crossword puzzle, but it's too dark to see, so you have to open the door to get the dome light to come on. Or you whine and complain that it's too "stuffy" in the car so you have to open the door, allowing yourself to be eaten by the hungry monsters. Or you might want to see if your car can fly if it moves with both doors open. The possibilities are endless! But you lose if, when the morning sun has vanquished the horrible night and the werewolves revert back to naked people struck with amnesia, you're still alive and intact within your car.

    Wooden Gear Solid

    In this prequel to MGS:

    It is the time of the American Revolution. King George has a secret weapon: A giant, walking tank made of wood!

    You have to play as George Washington to take it down!

    Is it a coincidence that the hero and the villain have the same name?


    No, in a shocking plot twist, it turns out they're brothers AND clones of the same person. Also, King George wanted to revolution to succeed from the very beginning!

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