Along with being an accomplished Video Game Review writer, FO is also an excellent humorist. Some of her game ideas are really funny, and some are more serious. You can find a lot more of her work at FlyingOmelette.com. Albert Einstein Odyssey Albert's Odyssey Alien vs. Predaking Battle Clash 3 Beard 64 Beatle Adventure Racing Bedknobs and Broomsticks Berzerk 2 Big Scary Eyebrow Advance Blaster Master: Party Below Capcom vs. Squaresoft Captain N Tennille Create a New James Bond Movie Title Danza Danza Revolution Don Pachi & Do Don Pachi Don't Burn the Bacon 64 Donnie Disco Doogie Howser Featuring Flunky Howser Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hydlide Elemental Metal Guilty Gimmick Xeno Gear Bolt Solid Fax Ana Du Finding Little Nemo Fire X Emblem FO 64 Forum Wars: Mod Squadron Grade-"E"-us Harry Potter vs. Captain N Hell 2: A Housewife Thriller Hoist's Adventure Island Hudson's Adventure Island In the Hunt For Red October Indiana Jones Jaga Frontier Jimmy Olsen 3D Judyful Joe Kabuki Quantum Leap KaRnoov Rally Kidneystone Kapers Kongo Bong Last Samurai Zombie Nation Magmax: Beyond Thunderdome Mary Poppins Milon's Secret Castle RPG Mini-Game Mania Never Say Die 64 New Captain N Show Ninja Guy Den Ninja-Type Optimus Primal Rage Organ Battle 64 Pickle Cubicle Pidge Racer Pocket Transformers Red, Blue, & Special Huffer Edition Pokamontas Portal Kombat Ratchet and Ratchet Reggie-Lution 3D Resident Weevil Rise of the GoBots Rival Turd RPG Buddy Movie Game Saladmander Sunday Comics Deathmatch Tenchi Survivor The Adventures of Bayou Billy Hatcher & the Giant Egg The Adventures of Beardy Smoosh's Head The Legend of Zelda: Macarena of Time Tic-Tac-Man Transformers Tweeter911 Advance Underwear Jones & the Flagpole of Doom Untitled Adventure Game Vanilla Ice Age Zanac vs. Link

Albert Einstein Odyssey The Legend of E=MC Squared

Albert's Odyssey You play as Albert the pirate from Alundra 2. You go on such exciting adventures as arguing with your sister, correcting people's grammar, wandering around Gwaba town looking for your lost father, explaining how to use a parachute, and teaching pirates about the hydrodynamic nature of the ocean's current. You also teach people that whales aren't fish and the meaning of the word "fatso". You have the uncanny skill to make best friends out of your worst enemies and to wear a construction worker's hat even though you're a pirate. In a world of mystery and chaos, you are the one true salvation.

Alien vs. Predaking Who will win? The Predacons or the Aliens? You can choose which to play as! The final battle pits Predaking against the Alien Queen. Either way, the Universe is screwed! Here's what the character select screen will look like:

Battle Clash 3 I think Battle Clash 3 would be a cool idea for GameCube or N64. Instead of using a gun or scope, you would just use the control stick to aim your "sights" at. (Sort of like the robot battles in Mystical Ninja.) It would have all the STs from Battle Clash and Metal Combat, as well as lots of new STs! I think there could be a special hidden mode where you get to fight against STs that are piloted by famous Nintendo Characters, like Mario, Bowser, Link, Samus, Kirby, etc. Can you imagine Ash Ketchum fighting in an ST shaped like a giant, mechanical Pikachu!!! Oh no!!!

Beard 64 In this game, the object is to grow a beard. The longer your beard, the more points you get, but you have to keep it fairly neat. Score extra points if your beard swirls into little rosettes. Later, you can trim your beard for a better score. Getting a perfect Fu Man Chu is more fun than a four-line score in Tetris! Special bonus round where you try to get birds to nest in your beard, and you have to balance all of their eggs. If you beat the game and get a really high score, you unlock Crawl and 1000 and play as him while FO tries to snuggle into your fuzzy beard.

Beatle Adventure Racing Race as Paul, George, Ringo, or John on the Magical Mystery Tour! You can unlock special vehicles, like the Yellow Submarine. The game ends if Yoko Ono knocks you all off the track.

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Bedknobs and Broomsticks I think this would make an awesome game, and I'm actually serious about this one. The object is that you have a time-traveling bed that can take you anyplace in any time period whenever you want it to. You're on a quest to find the world's most powerful book of magic, but you have to search around the world on your flying bed to find it. So, it's kind of like Where is Carmen Sandiego, except with a flying bed and a book in place of Carmen. In one level you get to rummage through a street sale. In other one, you have to fight the laundry and furniture that's come to life in your house after a botched spell attempt. You even get attacked by a flying nightgown that you can clearly see the string attached to it. Then, the Nazis invade your village, so it becomes a race against time. You need that book, but you find out it's hidden on the Island of Naboombu that's ruled by cartoon animals. You have to play a soccer game against them and win to get the book. Once you have the book, you can use it to make suits of armor come to life and battle the Nazis in a real-time brawler! Bonus level where Angela Lansbury does backflips through hoops underwater.

Berzerk 2 Believe it or not, this game idea came to me in a dream. And for all it's worth, it's kind of strange that there hasn't been a Berzerk 2. It's certainly the kind of game that could lend itself well to being updated into a more "modern" format. It's still an overhead shooter/maze-type game, but with better graphics, so instead of fighting against blank screens, you now battle the robots and other enemies against forest, ruins, factory, ice, and other backgrounds. The gameplay is more intense, like Smash TV, but you can still leave the room whenever you want. There are secret rooms to discover and this time, there are bosses, too. I think it would be cool if some bosses you fight are done on the overhead-view scenes, while others are in "sidescrolling" scene. Every time you beat a boss, it changes into Evil Otto and he chases after you, so you have to leave the room quickly to avoid him.

Big Scary Eyebrow Advance In this game, you play as Tweeter911, and you are being haunted by the ghost of a big scary eyebrow. You travel from world-to-world, but no matter where you go, there it is....staring right at you...twitching up and down... As you travel from world to world, you don many different disguises, such as Orochi Yashiro Nankase, Son of Geese Howard, Brother NEO, DearFallingAngel, MRT911, and others on your quest to escape the Big Scary Eyebrow (BSE). You will fight many opponents along the way, including Gaimeguy, Lich Lord Nybbas, and many others. You will gain experience and powerful moves from all your fighting and eventually, you'll become strong enough to face the BSE and destroy it...Or will you?

Blaster Master: Party Below Play as either the Autobot Blaster or the Decepticon Soundwave as you try to out-DJ each other at a rave party. Possible Screenshot

Capcom vs. Squaresoft This is a fighting game like Marvel vs. Capcom and Capcom vs. SNK. There's all the characters from the Capcom games, such as Street Fighter, Mega Man, Strider, Dark Stalkers, etc. But to counter the new Squaresoft RPG characters, there will also be characters from Capcom's Breath of Fire series, like Ryu, Nina, Ox, Bleu, Bo, Spar, etc. The characters from Squaresoft will be mostly Final Fantasy characters, from the various games, like Cloud, Cecil, Terra, Sabin, Edgar, Squall, etc. There will also be characters from Chrono Trigger and Chrono Cross, and other Squaresoft games. The characters' special moves will be some of the same skills and magic attacks that they have in the RPGs.

Captain N Tennille Years after the cartoon was canceled, Kevin and Lana become a pop music singing duet.

Create a New James Bond Movie Title This game will be made for all current systems. In it, you play as a James Bond film writer, and your job is to come up with a new James Bond movie title whenever the producer asks you to. You'll have to search through newspapers for words like, "Never", "Die", "Tomorrow", "Kill", "Gun", "Gold", "Man", "Diamonds", "License", etc, cut them out, and throw them all in a bucket. (BTW, you'll also have to steal the bucket from Ed Asner's house, first. Ed Asner's house is full of traps and armed guards, so you'll have to stealth your way through it, just like 007, himself!) Then, you shake the bucket up really well, close your eyes, and reach in and take out a clipping without looking. Now reach in again, and take another one. You'll have to randomly draw clippings until the ones you pick form a sentence. Some of the possible results could be: Never Say Tomorrow The Man with the Diamond Eye You Never Die Tomorrow If you come up with a particularly good title, you'll earn millions in cash. And you'll get to blow up a satellite and go party in Ed Asner's house.

Danza Danza Revolution Dance your way to the top as Tony Danza! You'll face off against an assortment of other famous Tonys, including Tony Randall, Toni Braxton, Tony the Tiger, and Tony Toni Tone. There are four major bosses in the game: The first is Tony Banta from Taxi. The second is Tony Micelli from Who's The Boss? The third is Tony Canettie from Hudson Street. And the fourth and final boss is Tony DiMeo from the Tony Danza Show.

Don Pachi & Do Don Pachi Don Pachi - A game about a Mexican mafia boss. Do Don Pachi - A game about trying to get it on with a Mexican mafia boss.

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Don't Burn the Bacon 64 In this game, you are trying to cook some bacon (turkey bacon, if you don't eat pork), and you have to be very careful not to burn it. If you cook the bacon and all goes well, you'll earn some points and get to eat a nice yummy snack. If you do burn the bacon, a genie pops out of your skillet and yells, "YOU BURNED THE BACON!!" and whacks you over the head with a frying pan. Coming soon are the sequels, Don't Burn the Omelette Don't Step in the Gravy Don't Eat the Mystery Meat Don't Slip on the Banana Peel Don't Eat the Yellow Snow Don't Sink the Bismarck

Donnie Disco You play as Al Pacino as he travels back in time to the 70's to dance with a guy in a giant bunny suit.

Doogie Howser Featuring Flunky Howser This is a game that uses the NES Gilligan's Island game engine. You play as Doogie Howser, MD, as he walks around a hospital trying to save his patients. Tagging along is his lesser-known brother, Flunky Howser, who wears a backwards baseball cap, baggy pants and sunglasses. Flunky Howser falls over a lot and goofs off and serves no real purpose other than to trip you up. And the worst part is, every time you're about to accomplish something, Flunky Howser screws it up.

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hydlide You play as the scientist Dr. Jekyll who is seeking a cure for a strange illness: He keeps changing into a crossdressing fat guy who goes around attacking small, slimy creatures.

Elemental Metal Guilty Gimmick Xeno Gear Bolt Solid Finally! Every game that has "Gear" in the title rolled into one package!

Fax Ana Du You're trying to get a fax through to a woman named Ana Du. But the fax number she gave you is wrong. You have to be quick, because you're trying to warn her that a meteor is gonna fall on her head. So you go on a journey to find out her real fax number. Search phone books, company records, and interrogate acquaintances. Take too long, and the meteor lands. Then it's game over.

Finding Little Nemo After Little Nemo disappeared into Slumberland, his worried father goes frantically searching for him. He meets up with the Princess of Slumberland, who knows of Nemo's last whereabouts, but she is currently suffering from short-term memory loss and can't quite remember where he was. So she accidentally leads you on a lot of side adventures. You'll also have to collect lots of seashells along the way.

Fire X Emblem You play as Fire X from the Sugarcrave Message Forums and the goal is to get kicked off the board by wearing various hate emblems.

FO 64 In this game, you play as either BJ Strykes or Crawland1000, and your objective is to find FO and marry her! AOOHOHrohOHRHEOeAHrohHohroAREOERohRHroheAOOERoehOHAErhAOrHO! There are many different ways to find FO! You can make a trail of omelettes, and she'll find and follow them! You can hide in her SnuggleJammies made for two and wait for her to get in them! You can set up a widescreen-TV with Harvest Moon playing on it - it will attract FO like a moth to a lightbulb! There are other ways, but you have to figure them out for yourself! Whichever character you choose, you will fight the other one in the end, when he discovers you've gone after FO! It will be a long, tough battle, and the winner gets FO! Now who doesn't want this game? HOAEOHroaerreaohoheohAROHROHEAOHeRAOoHHEAROHREHOEROOHOOOHO!

Forum Wars: Mod Squadron An evil empire is taking over your message board. Command a squadron of moderators and administrators to edit and delete their posts. Gold Leader goes around telling people to, "Stay on-topic....STAY ON-TOPIC!!"

Grade-"E"-us You're part of a group lobbying to get schools to include the letter "E" grade. (Why does it go straight from D to F after all?)

Harry Potter vs. Captain N This would be a great game! Think about it, both of these are about an ordinary kid who finds himself in an extraordinary situation, gains amazing powers, and meets lots of strange people and things. So why not have them kick the crap outta each other? Imagine.. Harry Potter vs. Kevin Keene - Will the wand or the Zapper prevail? Simon Belmont vs. Serverus Snape to see who can be the biggest, yet most likable jerk. Mega Man vs. Dumbledore Mother Brain vs. Ron Weasly Hermione vs. the Eggplant Wizard Unlockable characters will include Lucious Malfoy, the Whomping Willow, Pero the Cat, Error, and a rapping Genie. In the end, it turns out that King Hippo is Voldemort.

Hell 2: A Housewife Thriller The Giant Rubber Glove has conquered the Year 2195 with its army of vacuum cleaners and curling irons! As a faithful housewife who has always believed in the Rubber Glove, you must discover why he's suddenly discontinued your welfare check. Solve mysteries and puzzles by visiting various locations around your town, such as laundromats, shopping malls, grocery stores, and the hairdresser. An example of one of the game's many baffling puzzles: You need to cause a distraction in the laundromat so that you can steal the Exit Sign. Take the dish detergent you found in your kitchen cabinet and put it in a washing machine. Use the quarters you got from banging on the gas station's vending machine to start the washing machine, and suds bubbles fill up the entire laundromat. Now whack everyone over the head with the mop you found in your neighbor's closet and the Exit Sign is all yours! Other puzzles you'll need to solve: How to get a stain out of a carpet. How to keep the dog from climbing on the furniture. What to do about a flat tire. And many, many more!

Hoist's Adventure Island I think they should remake the Adventure Island games and replace Master Higgins with Hoist. Maybe the Adventure Island games weren't all that good, but playing as a fat robot in underwear and tennis shoes is 10 times cooler than a fat guy in a grass skirt, so that alone would make it much better. Between levels, you get to shoot the dog from Duck Hunt.

Hudson's Adventure Island With contributions from Facilitypro You play as Hudson from Aliens as he goes on a wacky island adventure. Every time you get a "Game Over", he yells, "Game over, man!! Game over!!" In one level, he takes a metal detector to a beach. Then he starts yelling, "There's coins all around us, man!! The signal's getting stronger!!" Maybe you could have a "freak out meter," and whenever you have a close call, it increases. When it fills, Hudson freaks out and starts screaming "We're fucked! We're doomed!" Then you have to slap him until he calms down.

In the Hunt For Red October This is the same exact game as In the Hunt, only now player 1 is Sean Connery and Player 2 is Sam Neill. Sean Connery likes his submarine shaken, not stirred. Sam Neill's sub gets mauled by a T-Rex and thrown into a tree.

Indiana Jones You play as Jones the cat from Alien and Aliens as he goes on a wacky adventure in Indiana. Whenever you get close to a boss, Jones starts hissing and snarling, and then the boss kills one of your party members. Instead of traveling about Indiana in a car or airship, you get put in a kitty carrier and Ripley runs with it while being chased by a runaway boulder.

Jaga Frontier You play as Jaga from the Thundercats. It takes place when Jaga was a little younger and before Thundera exploded. He goes on a non-linear adventure across Thundera to try to find clothes for his friends. Alas, he never finds any clothes, but he fights lots of random bosses, recruits lots of random people, and learns lots of random attack moves and spells.

Jimmy Olsen 3D You play as the photographer Jimmy Olsen from Superman. You take pictures of things around the world. The bigger the disaster you capture, and the better your photograph of it is, the more points you score. Eventually, you'll face off against Peter Parker to settle the score of who is the best comic book photographer of all time. The ending shows a scene of Jimmy Olsen falling down a flight of stairs.

Judyful Joe You play as Judge Judy in a sidescrolling beat-em-up. You can pound on people with your gavel and blow them away by shouting at them.

Kabuki Quantum Leap You play as Scott Bakula who has leaped into the body of a Kabuki dancer. You must perform a perfect dance routine on-stage and while fending off attacking ninjas with your hair the whole time in order to return to your real body.

KarNoov Rally It's this game, only the guy on the boxart is replaced with Karnov:

Kidneystone Kapers Play as a guy trying to pass a kidney stone.

Kongo Bong You play as either Donkey Kong, Congo Bongo, Optimus Primal, or the talking gorilla from the movie Congo as they pass around the doobie and snack on saltines.

Last Samurai Zombie Nation With contributions from SethraShnoo, jup, & Deathamster You play as Tom Cruise's decapitated head flying through a city destroying buildings! Like an evil Superman, you fly throughout the world's cities, using all those super powers to level all of the humans' achievements in one day. Then you'll have to face the wrath of all those Top Gun dudes in their fighter planes. Bonus level in which you travel around trying to sue anyone who accuses you of being gay.

Magmax: Beyond Thunderdome Level 1: You fight against Master Blaster inside the Thunderdome. Level 2: You and a bunch of kids race against Tina Turner to an airplane. You can knock your opponents off-course by hitting them with frying pans. Level 3: You fly the airplane and blow up a giant three-headed metal dragon. Then the game loops back to Level 1.

Mary Poppins Idea #1: The companion game to Bedknobs and Broomsticks. It's a sidescrolling shooter and instead of a ship, you play as Mary Poppins flying around on an umbrella. You'll have to dodge flying chimney sweeps, kites, fake birds, and dancing penguins. For options, you have two little kids and the object is to get them in as much trouble with their real parents as possible. Have them play in chimneys and get all dirty or teach them to throw their hard-earned cash away to a birdlady. Bonus round where you have to spell out supercalafragilisticexpialidocious. Idea #2: Now that I think about it, this game would be better off as a 3D adventure game instead of a sidescrolling shooter. (Well, maybe the shmup could be included as an unlockable bonus.) Stage 1: Float in on your umbrella and try to blow away the other prospective nannies. Stage 2: Clean up the nursery. Run around to every pile of junk and snap your fingers. Stage 3: A horse race with you on a merry-go-round horse. Be sure to save the fox from the hunters along the way. Stage 4: Bonus Round = Spell supercalafragilistic, etc.. Stage 5: Get Uncle Albert down from the ceiling. Stage 6: Dance with the chimney sweeps. Final Stage: Fly the kite.

Milon's Secret Castle RPG Instead of rescuing a princess or saving the world, the goal of this RPG is to FIND A SAW!!

Mini-Game Mania This is a game that takes all the annoying mini-games in RPGs and Adventure games that there ever were, and puts them all in one. The ultimate goal of this game is to annoy the hell out of the player, and make him/her go insane. You'll get the Dartboard game, RC Car Race, Follow the Dog, and Arcade mini-games from Alundra 2. The shooting galleries, Bombchu Bowling, Fishing Pond, Horse Race, and Archery Range of Zelda 64. You'll get the annoying mini-games that I've heard so much about in Final Fantasy 7. You get the digging game and treasure chest house game in Zelda: ALttP. The roulette, slime-fighting, and archery range of Alundra 1 are in here, too (although for mini-games, I thought those were kind of fun.) You also get all of those mini-games from Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon, like the one where Ebisumaru has to collect the sweets, the one where Yae swims up a waterfall, the one where Sasuke leaps up a rotating tower, and the one where Goemon throws boxes on top of giant enemies. By getting high scores on these mini-games, you'll unlock even more mini-games! You'll get all the mini-games from The Legend of the Mystical Ninja (the SNES one). All the Mini-Games from Zelda DX, like the crane game, fishing pond, and river raft. You can even open up some mini-games from sidescrolling action games, such as the crane game, wild west shooting, and egg catching game from Kirby's Adventure! If you win every mini-game, the game cartridge/CD self-destructs.

Never Say Die 64 This, contrary to what you may have thought, is not a James Bond game. In this game, you play as an ezboarder with a lot of game ideas. And even though the N64 is officially a dead system and there will probably never be any more games for it, nothing...NOTHING will stop you from putting "64" in the titles of your games! AOHROEHRoAHrohaeOrheoARHoehroHORHOEhroHOHO!

New Captain N Show I had a really weird dream the other night that got me to thinking about ideas for a new Captain N cartoon. Basically, it would be just like the old cartoon, but here's some stuff they could add: First and foremost, they need to get more NES "staple" ideas into the show. For example, they need to have the "Door Maze" episode. There should also be the "RPG" episode, where they spend several hours killing hundreds of imps or slimes and become permamently stronger. And how about the slippery ice floor episode? Kevin also needs to use his power belt more. I think it would be cool if he entered "Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A" and then he could die 30 times in one game world and keep coming back to life. Some ideas for new characters: There should be a dog on the team that laughs at them whenever they make a mistake. They could have the Goof-Off from Dragon Warrior 3 and the sidekick from Phantom Fighter. Both just tag along and act like idiots, and make fun of the other team members all the time. There should be a rapping genie on the team. True, I can't think of any rapping genies in any NES games, but there really should be a rapping genie. That would be cool. Guest Characters: The original series saw cameo appearances by characters like Link, Pero the Cat, and Bayou Billy. Here are some more cameo character episode ideas: Rad Gravity - This episode could be based on the Felluvia level of Rad Gravity. The N-Team has to help Rad save his spaceship's computer from the thieves with the ice cream truck. Milon from Milon's Secret Castle - The N-Team helps Milon FIND A SAW, and they have to BUMP HEAD TO FIND BLOCK to do it. Orpheus from Battle of Olympus - This could be the basis of an excellent "dark" themed episode. The N-Team descends into hell, er....hades to bring Orpheus's girlfriend back from the dead. Or how about, in a bizarre twist on the idea, Kevin has to bring Lana back from the dead? Error from Zelda 2 - Since Donkey Kong was 50 feet tall for no explicable reason, I don't see why Error can't be inexplicably 50 feet tall, too. Imagine an episode where Donkey Kong shows up and he's about to pound the N-Team, but then, on the horizon appears a 50-foot Error and he bellows out in a deep voice, "I AM ERROR!", then they brawl it out Godzilla-style. Karnov - I'm not sure what this episode will be about, but Karnov should make lots of Russian jokes, like "In Soviet Russia, SHOES wear YOU!!"

Ninja Guy Den In this game, you play as one of four guys in a basement who get drunk while watching one too many kung-fu movies and start beating each other up.

Ninja-Type It's a shooter like R-Type, except that you play as a ninja flying on a kite instead of a spaceship, and the backgrounds are of medieval Japan. The final boss is a tornado. Screenshot by Crawl and 1000:

Optimus Primal Rage It's another Beast Wars fighting game. The only real difference with this one is that Optimus Primal now has a finishing move where he pees on his defeated opponent.

Organ Battle 64 An amazing strategy RPG where combatants wheel organs and pianos out onto the battefield and duel each other with concertos. Whoever puts on the loudest performance blows the other party away.

Pickle Cubicle Fill an office cubicle with pickles

Pidge Racer You play as the little punk with the annoying voice from Voltron, as he's converted his Green Lion into a race car. Race against Lotor and King Zarkon to win the galaxy's freedom!

Pocket Transformers Red, Blue, & Special Huffer Edition In this game, you have to find and catch Transformers and use them in battle against other Transformers. Never mind that Transformers are awfully huge and hard to catch. Thanks to the miracle of the Subspace Theory, they can now fit into small balls that you can carry in your pockets. In the Red Edition, you can get Prowl, but you can't get Bluestreak, and vice versa. Special Huffer Edition is similar to the Red and Blue, except that you start with Huffer and he follows you around. Whenever you try to do anything, he whines about it. Like, when you capture a Dinobot, he says, "Dinobots? I thought you were going to capture DINOSAURS!" And every time you throw a pocket ball he yells, "That'll never work! I just know it!" The ultimate goal is to face off against and defeat the Elite Four: Spike, Carly, Chip, and Buster. Then when you win, you can rule the planet, at least until Unicron comes and eats it in the ending cinema scene.

Pokamontas You reenact the war between the settlers and the Native Americans, only instead of using arrows and guns, you use captured animals and Pokebattle to win territories of land. The final battle is dramatically interrupted when Misty throws herself into a burning woodpile.

Portal Kombat A one-on-one fighting game. Defeated opponents get blasted through a portal to another dimension.

Ratchet and Ratchet The sequel to Ratchet & Clank, and Ratchet & Clank 2, it's Ratchet & Ratchet! You play as either the Autobot Ratchet or Nurse Ratchet. The object is that you're competing against each other to see who can annoy your patients more without actually harming them. As Autobot Ratchet, wrestle with the likes of Ironhide, who doesn't like to be operated on, and threaten to weld his mouth shut. Try not to lose your concentration as the other Autobots stand around and stare at you while you work as they always inexplicably do on the show. Uh-oh, be careful not to ruin Sunstreaker's paint job or you'll lose drastic amounts of points! As Nurse Ratchet, you'll have to annoy your patients by taking away their TV and cigarettes and giving them shock therapy! Watch out for the Indian! Make sure he doesn't throw the sink through the window and escape again! The final stage is a one-on-one Mortal Kombat style fight between a hand-drawn Autobot Ratchet and digitized Nurse Ratchet, who are now both 50-feet-tall to make the fight fair and so that you can knock down buildings. Why? Because, dammit, there are too many people with the name "Ratchet" anymore!

Reggie-Lution 3D With contributions from Kairobi King In this game, you play as a really big guy on your way to earning fame and fortune. Your ultimate goal is to make a speech at the E3 show that is good enough to impress Nintendo so they make you the new CEO. To accomplish this goal, you'll have to kick ass and take names. As you travel along the streets, kicking everyone's asses, you'll have to build up your special powers. For example, earn enough points, and you can be outfitted with eyebeams capable of melting down any X-Box or Playstation2 consoles you see. The three major bosses are Bill Gates, Victor Ireland, and whoever is the president of Sony. You fight them in one-on-one fighting game-style battles. As you fight, a meter builds up, and when the meter is full, you have to press a certain button so you can execute your super-duper "Kicking Ass" move. Then, when your opponent is finished, the screen says "TAKE NAMES!" in big bloody letters accompanied by a Mortal Kombat-like voiceover, and you must input the correct button sequence to take your opponent's name. Along with collecting names from defeated enemies, you can find them other ways, too, like if you find a phone book, then you get a huge "name collection" bonus. Or how about a scene where you go into a restaurant and rip off the employees' nametags? Collecting enough names will prove to Nintendo that you've destroyed their competition and you can make a big speech at E3 on their behalf. Collect all the names in the game, and you get to see the super-secret special ending: An ad for the upcoming Reggie-Lution 3D Part 2, which will pretty much be the same game, only with more names to collect, and heck, you may even have to collect MIDDLE names, too!

Resident Weevil You play as a farmer whose crops have been taken over by giant Boll Weevils and other insects.

Rise of the GoBots Sick of playing second-fiddle to the Transformers and enduring the ridicule of fans, the GoBots rise up and take them on in a one-on-one fighting game whose main claim to fame is having FMV on a cartridge. Except, now it's a CD game, so it doesn't seem so special anymore. And for some reason, you can only play as Leader-1 in the one-player mode. Well, at least it wasn't Scooter.

Rival Turd Play as Hankey the Christmas Poop from South Park in a sidescrolling beat-em-up. You can play this game with Controller Poop.

RPG Buddy Movie Game I think there should be an RPG that stars lots of different RPG heroes who go together on a Buddy Movie-style adventure. They'll do things like walk through cornfields, ride inside dryers at the laundromat, make lots of wisecracks, and eventually someone gets a vase stuck on their head. It could have: Locke and Edgar from Final Fantasy 6 Edge from Final Fantasy 4 Kharg and Maru from Arc the Lad 4 Pike from Albert Odyssey Ness from EarthBound Garian from Dark Savior Toxa from Kartia Flint from Alundra 2 Crono from Chrono Trigger Ryu from Breath of Fire Alaron from Aidyn Chronicles Edge from Panzer Dragoon Saga and all of their respective girlfriends. (Okay, so technically Edgar doesn't have a true "girlfriend", but I figure Terra is most likely to end up with him at the end, so she'll be his girlfriend. And for the curious, the other girlfriends will be Celes, Rydia, Paulette, Bebedora, Eka, Paula, Kay, Mona, Alexia, Marle, Nina, Brenna, and Azel.) The guys all do something to upset their girlfriends, and then they have to go through a lot of swashbuckling hijinks to make it up to them. Everybody keeps the same attack moves and spells from the games they were originally in. I also think it would be neat if the story was influenced by who you choose to put in your party. Like, for example, Pike, Maru, and Edgar are really bad influences, so you'll end up in a lot more trouble if they're in the group. If you make up a party of just Crono, Flint, Ness, and Ryu, the entire game will have no dialogue and story scenes will be pantomimed. If you put both Edge from FF4 and Edge from PDS in the party, lots of hilarious scenes where someone says, "Edge!" and they both answer to it at once will ensue.

Saladmander After the success of Life Force, which remixed the arcade game Salamander with a theme of being inside a monster's body, comes Saladmander - which is Salamander remixed with a tossed salad theme! Shoot your way through broccoli, carrots, cabbage, and cucumbers to save the universe!

Sunday Comics Deathmatch Play as all your favorite Sunday comic characters from past and present! Choose from Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Garfield, Heathcliff, Marmaduke, Calvin, Hobbes, Beetle Bailey, Hagar the Horrible, Dagwood, Bill the Cat, Dennis the Menace, Cathy, and Prince Valiant as you duke it out to see who is the supreme comic strip character. Backgrounds are hand-drawn to look like the comics, but I think it would be neato if the characters looked like they were made out of clay, a la Clay Fighter. Or maybe an animated hand-drawn style like Yoshi's Island. Or both! And, finally, the question of who is better: Garfield or Heathcliff, can be settled. The final boss is Mary Worth.

Tenchi Survivor It's just like the TV, Survivor, except that all the people on the island are the Tenchi girls, and you get to play as one of them. You go through all kinds of adventures on the island, play games, race through obstacle courses, eat bugs, build houses out of walnuts, and do other crazy crap. At the end of each "game week", one of the Tenchi girls is eliminated, and if you did poorly, it might be you. The last Tenchi girl standing is the one that gets to be with Tenchi, forever. You can choose to play as: Ryoko, Ayeka, Mihoshi, Kiyone, Washu, Nagi, Sakuya from Tenchi in Tokyo, and secret bonus character Yuzuha.

The Adventures of Bayou Billy Hatcher & the Giant Egg It's the same game as Bayou Billy, excet that in the beat-em-up stages, you now have to roll a giant egg across the screen to bowl down your foes.

The Adventures of Beardy Smoosh's Head There should be a movie where the camera is up really close to Smoosh's face, then it slowly starts panning around his head. It will continue to pan around his head over the course of 2 hours, until we've finally seen the whole head. Then the camera will zoom out so that we can see his entire face. Then, there's a scene of Smoosh sleeping on the couch. It will be called, "The Adventures of Beardy Smoosh's Head!"

The Legend of Zelda: Macarena of Time This is the same exact game as Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, except that the music in the ending sequence where everyone is dancing is replaced with the Macarena.

Tic-Tac-Man Pac-Man's got bad breath from all those years of eating without ever brushing, flossing, or using mouthwash. This reverses the gameplay. The ghosts are now trying to stay as far away from Pac-Man as possible, but he needs to eat them to keep a healthy balanced diet. So, instead of dots, Pac-Man eats Tic-Tacs. The more he eats, the better his breath gets, so this makes the ghosts come to him.

Transformers I know that a Transformers game is in the works for PS2. (I just hope that it doesn't turn out to be another lame fighting game.) But anyway, I have my own ideas for a Transformers game. The first would be an MDK2-style game. It would be 3D, 3rd-person-perspective. You would have to play as different Autobots and use their special abilities to get through levels. For example, small characters like Cliffjumper could fit into small tunnels and places like that. Large, strong guys with a lot of firepower would be useful in tougher areas with lots of enemies. Maybe there could be some Star Fox-like stages where you play as Silverbolt, the leader of the Aerialbots, and the other Aerialbots function as your wingmen. If you play as a character like Perceptor or Wheeljack who are more known for being "scientist"-types, you would have to solve puzzles to complete their stages. Of course, you would have to use your powers of transformation to complete areas as well. Imagine that you're playing as an Autobot whose job is to infiltrate a Decepticon base, place a bomb, and the escape. The bomb explodes, and you have to escape down this long winding tunnel thing by transforming and racing down. Or maybe you'd need to use your vehicle mode to pick up enough speed on a straighaway to make a really long jump. (All the while, of course, you're dodging enemies and laser fire.) I think the final boss should be Unicron. This game's story could be like an alternate version of the Unicron story (a better one in which the best Autobots don't all die within the first 20 minutes). And to make Crawl happy, yes, there could also be stages where you'd play as Decepticons. Either the Decepticons could join the Autobots in the fight against Unicron, or maybe there could be two completely separate quests. In one story, you play from the Autobot's point of view, in the other, from the Decepticon's. (Sort of like Kartia, the two stories could tie into each other at certain points.) But they still have to come together in the end to fight Unicron. My second idea for a Transformers game is an RPG with super-deformed sprite-based artwork. (That's only for the RPG idea. The MDK2-style idea would have more realistic artwork based on the cartoons.)

Tweeter911 Advance This is the exact same game as Super Mario Bros. 2, except for one major difference. If you beat 910 Tweeter enemies in a row, the 911th one turns into a huge boss and kicks your ass.

Underwear Jones & the Flagpole of Doom You play as intrepid explorer Underwear Jones on a quest to run your underwear up every flagpole in America. Extra points if you're still wearing them.

Untitled Adventure Game You know how in a lot of RPGs, like the Final Fantasy games, you'll get many different characters to join your party, and some characters come and go, while others stay, etc. But in all adventure games I've played (like Zelda games, where you actually control the main character), you usually only play as one character and keep that character for the entire game. The only exception is Secret of Mana and Evermore, but even in those games you can only switch between just a few characters. Wouldn't it be cool for someone to make an adventure that has lots of characters that would come and go and join your party? And you could switch between controlling them, and they'd all have different skills and/or magic?

Vanilla Ice Age Instead of playing as animals trying to survive the Ice Age, you play as animals trying to avoid Vanilla Ice. You have to be very careful to avoid him. If you walk past trash cans, he might pop out and start rappin'. If you bust through the wall of a building, you might find that you've landed in a night club and Vanilla Ice is onstage rapping about Ninja Turtles. If you get on an airplane, he might be in the seat behind you.

Zanac vs. Link p>The ultimate battle to prove who is the greatest power in the universe: Link, the Hero of Time, or Zanac?