Hey everybody! I've got super awesome special news! LOL! Even thogh 13 isn't even out yet, my super secret internet sources have clued me into the most exclusiv info on FINAL FANTASY XVII! Or 17, for you noobs who can't read RoMAn nuMerALS! LOL!
First off, even though is still really early and a lot could change, hear's some erly concept art for the MaIN chARaCteRS! W00t!
This is the main caracter! His name is Rain Sunder, and he's the leader! He's always being angsty and introverted, which makes him cool because HE'S JUST LIKE ME!!!! LOL I am so cooll! don't you even doubt it! And so is Rain. He uses a sword for a weapon, but the sword can also shoot FLAMING NINJA STARS because ninjas are cool.
This is the female girl! Her name is Triana Honeysuckle. She's a white mage and her job is to heal the party. She doesn't have much of a personality bu that's ok because her job is just to heal the party and stand there and look dam hawt LOL
This is the Black Mage! His name is Barl Vangloop. He's can use magic but he is clumsy and is alwasy catching himself on FIRE!
This is Kransky Barlak! He is a TANK!!!!!1 He is a stern and buff guy warrior dude! CHeck out that awesome mustash LOL! HIs weapon is an arm cannon that shoots out little disks that split up into even more littler disks, and those diks fly around and can shoot LAZORS! COOOOOOOL That's almost as cool as the gunblade or that thing RInoa used!!!
This is Green 21. He is a cat-thing and the last of his kind and the evil empire experimented on him!!!!1 how mean!
This is Token Blakguy. He's cool cause he's black. and also because he's black that proves japanese people are less racist than americans. He uses nun-chucks as weapons because all black guys know kung-fu.
This is the bad guy and his name is Kabbalos which sounds like something religious and that makes him SOOOOO COOL! He doensn't have much personality or motivaton and he doesn't do much, but he has a backstory that can only be explained through a 3 hour cutscene and is in a lot of flashbacks which means he must be a very deep and complex character.
Anyways it's revealed that the villan is actually Rain's mother's former boyfriend, and he wants to find the crystals and then absorb them into a bigger crystal. But this isn't kid stuff like those old final fantasys for kiddy nintendo because there's SWEARING and VIOLENCE!
This is an LOLcat, one of the new summons in the game. They ditched all those old dumb summons for new ones called MEMES. You summon them from the internet to fight for you!!!! Other confirmed MEMES are the dancing banana, O RLY owl and the ultimate MEME: CHUCK NORRIST
The gameplay is cool because it's not any of that dumb old turn based stuff. INstead they have a system called "Pleyzitte Selph." What you do is assign a different command to every party member a different command at the beginning of the battle and then you can sortof kindof almost control one character by pressing buttons.
But the gameplay is super awesome because there's lots of minigames! Look at these fun minigames they'll have!
So it looks really cool and I can't wait till it comes out!!! I asked some of my homies what they think and this is what they had to say:
"At first I thought it sounded pretty lame, but then I realized it had "Final Fantasy" in the title. Now I know it's going to be THE BEST GAME EVER!"
"When I first heard about this, I couldn't have cared less. I thought, aren't there already enough Final Fantasy games? Why should I spend $50 or $60 or more when I can just play Final Fantasies 4, 6, 7, 8, or 10? But then I remembered that all those games are old, so they must suck balls now. I can't wait for FFXVII to come out!"
"I'd pay $8,999 dollars for a PS4 just to play this game!"
"I can't follow the story at all, so that must mean it's complex, intricate, and artistic! 10/10! (even though I haven't played it yet LOL)