My most popular and infamous game idea that I've written is "Fall Down Stairs 64". I originally posted it at the old N-Sider BBS, where it went over quite well. I also wrote a serious game idea for N-Sider called "Pokemon Racers", which was also well-received, but I no longer have a copy of that one. So, basically, that's how I got my start.

  • Conan O'Brien Desk Driver
  • Crane Game 64
  • Fall Down Stairs 64
  • Fan-Made Pokemon
  • Fast-Food Mascots Deathmatch
  • Fuck You, Pikachu!
  • Gigli the Video Game: Bennifer's Revenge
  • Joementum: Lieberman's Revenge
  • Nintendo 69
  • Pokemon Tactics
  • Potato Salad 64
  • Skeeball 3D: Grand Tournament of Champions
  • Slinky Racers
  • Sonic & Mario
  • Steve Irwin 64
  • Super Toilet Bros.
  • Super Tossed Salad Bros.
  • Tetris Attack! Tournament Edition
  • X-TREEME Crossdressing Championship
  • X-TREEME Curling
  • Yakov Smirnoff 007

  • Conan O'Brien Desk Driver

    I think a game based on Conan O'Brien driving the desk around New York would be the greatest game ever made!

    You'll get to race other talk show hosts like Jay Leno, David Letterman, and Oprah Winfrey. Special hidden character, Johnny Carson.

    Extra points for each time you run over the former NY mayor, Ed Koch.

    Crane Game 64

    It's the videogame version of a crane game! Control your mechanical arm to try to grab any of 64 possible prizes inside the crane game machine within a time limit. You only have so many credits, so you have to earn more by getting prizes and then selling them.

    The game ends when you're either out of credits, or you get every last prize in the machine. If you get all the prizes, you get the best ending, which will be full of CHOCOLATELY GOODNESS!!

    Fall Down Stairs 64

    The object of this game is to fall down the stairs. You run around everywhere, look for stairs, and fall down them. You start out by falling down your front porch steps. Then you fall down your stairs inside your house. Then you fall down a fire escape, the stairs in school, one of those stairways you use to get on an airplane, apartment building stairs, spiral staircases, etc. You will get points depending on your grace and style as you fall. You have to try to make sure you fall all the way to the bottom of the stairs. If you don't, you are docked 5 points for each missed step. You cannot leap over the steps at the top either, to gain more momentum. If you do not, actually come in contact with the step, you are docked 5 points for each one missed. As you gain points, you will graduate to higher levels. Fall down the stairs of the Empire State building, the Sears Tower, the Statue of Liberty, the Eiffel Tower! Roll down the Great Wall of China! Fall down a pyramid! If you fall down an escalator going up, you fall for over three hours!

    Coming Soon: The Sequel: Fall Down Holes 64!

    In this game you will fall down manholes, elevator shafts, drainage ditches, and more!

    Fan-Made Pokemon

    I think it would be cool if for the next Pokemon game, Nintendo would hold a contest, similar to the Mega Man contest from a few years ago when fans had a chance to create the new Mega Man bosses for MM6. Fans get to create their own kind of Pokemon. They can either be evolutions of existing Pokemon, or completely new ones! The winning entries would be made into actual Pokemon for the next game!

    Fast-Food Mascots Deathmatch

    With contributions from Proto Man and Mega Man, Kairobi King, & ACC Kain

    This is an all-out brawl between between the mascots of various fast-food chains. Here are the characters and some of their moves:

    Ronald McDonald
    Representing: McDonald's

    Special Attacks:

    SubMcNuggetGun: Ronald loads a submachinegun with chicken Mcnuggets and fires them at rapid high speed!

    Big Shoe: Ronald does a roundhouse kick with those huge shoes!

    Dogmeat Burger: Ronald makes his enemies sick by feeding them several of McDonald's Dogmeat burgers

    Representing: McDonald's

    Grimace finally reveals his true goal: To kill Ronald and take over as the new mascot of McDonald's!

    Special Attacks:

    Body Slam: Self-explanatory if you've ever seen Grimace

    Inhale: Grimace will swallow his opponents whole

    French Fry Darts: Grimace will throw several of McDonald's French Fries in rapid succession like darts.

    Dave Thomas
    Representing: Wendy's

    Pita Wrap: Dave wraps up his opponents in a gigantic Wendy's pita.

    Biggie Punch: A giant-fisted punch in honor of Wendy's replacing the word "medium" with "biggie".

    And a move where he replaces himself with the actor/comedian, Dave Thomas.

    The Chihauhau
    Representing: Taco Bell

    Drop the Chalupa: The dog drops a giant chalupa on his opponent's head.

    Flaming Burrito: Ummmmmmm...this doesn't really need an explanation.

    Colonel Sanders
    Representing: Kentucky Fried Chicken

    Original Recipe: This is where the Colonel wastes his opponent with his 11 herbs and spices.

    Chicken Rap: In this move, the Colonel does that little dance he does in the animated commercials, and confuses his opponent, then whacks them in the knee with his cane.

    Chicken Bucket: The Colonel drops a bucket of chicken on his opponent's head.

    Little Caesar
    Representing: Little Caesar's Pizza

    Spinning Pizza Blade: throws a pizza like a razor blade

    Pizza Pizza!: He says, "Pizza! Pizza!" and throws two pizza blades at once!

    Chuck E. Cheese
    Representing: Chuck E. Cheese Pizza

    Nasty Pizza: throws a pizza at the enemy.

    Token Hurl: launches tokens at the enemy.

    Ticket Wrap: wraps the opponent up in the tickets

    Circuit Fryer: rips off a joystick and shoves the ciruts onto the enemy.

    Representing: McDonald's

    Hamburgler wants to reach his goal of getting every burger in the world

    Stealing: Steals some energy from the opponent

    Hamburger Throw: He throws a Gaint Hamburger at the opponent

    Secret Sauce: gets someone to freeze while giving away the recipe for the Secret Sauce. If used on Ronald he will take some of his own Energy

    Ultra Steal: Takes off the opponent's head and swallows. Yum Yum

    As you beat the game on various difficulty settings, you can unlock secret characters such as Bob's Big Boy and Ben and Jerry.

    Fuck You, Pikachu!

    It's "Hey you, Pikachu!" adults only version: "Fuck you, Pikachu!"

    Instead of just saying their names all the time, the Pokemon curse! Oh, you can see the lawsuits, now...

    "PIKA PIKA!"

    Gigli the Video Game: Bennifer's Revenge

    In this game, you play as either Jennifer Lopez or Ben Affleck as you compete to see who can make the worst movie. At the same time, you'll be trying to save your fake Hollywood romance. As J-Lo, you have to do jumping jacks for an hour and 20 minutes straight. As Ben Affleck, you try to save Pearl Harbor from being destroyed by a giant asteroid, but your memory is erased and you forget that it's going to happen. But you've left yourself six items that can save the world, if you figure out what to do with them. It turns out that the six items have the power to transform you into a blind ninja!

    If you get the good ending, Ben and J-Lo get married, but the wedding is interrupted by a hurricane and everyone is blown away.

    Joementum: Lieberman's Revenge

    This is the exact same game as Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, only now you play as Senator Joe Lieberman, and instead of beating up civilians, you are trying to destroy all copies of the real Grand Theft Auto games as well as other Teen and Mature-rated games. After running around to every store in town and successfully burning or smashing every mature and teen-rated game in existence, your mission will be to infiltrate Rockstar Games's headquarters and beat up all its employees. The final boss is the President of Rockstar Games. During your mission, you'll also be campaigning for President, so you'll have to be careful to have enough voters by the end of the game to win.

    Nintendo 69

    Continuining their efforts of breaking their "kiddy" image after the release of Conker's Bad Fur Day, Nintendo's new next-gen system is an adults-only alternative to the GameCube! This system will feature mature and adult-rated games only!

    Pokemon Tactics

    An Ogre Battle-style RPG for the GBA featuring Pokemon characters! Instead of having a leader, like in Ogre Battle, units will be commanded by a Pokemon Trainer. If you have all flying Pokemon in a unit, you can have an air unit, just like in Ogre Battle. The plot is set in the future. Space travel is common. People have discovered a planet full of Pokemon...all previous forms of Pokemon life exist here, as well as new ones. Now, Pokemon Trainers from all over the world travel to this planet to capture Pokemon, form units, and claim territory for their own! You can persuade other Pokemon Trainers to join your "army" by completing various tasks, similar to how you have to meet certain criteria to get people to join you in the Ogre Battle games.

    Potato Salad 64

    The object of this game is to make the ultimate bowl of Potato Salad! You must go to the store and buy all the right fixings, such as potatoes, carrots, eggs, miracle whip, salt, pepper, celery, etc. You must make sure not to drop your grocery bags, or else you could damage the eggs and potatoes. Also, you must be sure not to pick out rotten potatoes. Now, go home and chop everything up into a big bowl, and mix it well! Be careful not to cut yourself. Once you've made your potato salad, you can eat some of it, but be sure to leave some in the bowl. Now, stick the leftover potato salad in the back of your refrigerator for three weeks. When you go back to get it after three weeks, you will see it has mutated into a green, fuzzy monster! Now you and your potato salad are ready to take over the world!


    Skeeball 3D: Grand Tournament of Champions

    A videogame version of skeeball! You play to earn tickets to win lotsa junk! You can either buy lots of little junk, or save up for one big hunk o'junk.

    And the best thing about this game is that it will be loaded with CHOCOLATELY GOODNESS!!

    Slinky Racers

    Just about every other kind of racing game known to man has come to the why not Slinky Racers! You choose from one of eight different slinkies, of various length, width, and color. You can choose from metal or plastic slinkies. You race a slinky down the steps against your opponents. Since you have no control over the slinky whatsoever, the only thing you have to do as it's racing down the stairs, is press all the buttons as fast as you can, which will make your character cheer and scream like an idiot! If you win, you'll move on to tougher opponents and larger stairs. Then, each time you can win, you can purposefully fall down the stairs for no real reason, whatsoever! In fact, this game is just a disguised sequel to "Fall Down Stairs 64".

    Sonic & Mario

    With contributions from jup, Luxverum, & MarioMaster2002

    Wouldn't it be cool if they really did make a game for Game Cube and/or GBA that featured both Mario and Sonic as playable characters?

    Mario and Tails...Possible, if Mario bothers to dig out that old Raccoon suit with Power Wing attachment.

    Peach and (what's that female Hedgehog's name, Sweets?) could go out for Toad's special tea...and get kidnapped by a Robotnik/Bowser teamup attack.

    And, let's not even bother thinking about a fishing game starring Mario and that fat cat. Mario's Tennis cuts close enough to that region. Link would do better in a fishing stage. He did that in Ocarina of Time... (and Link's Awakening.)

    Now, it sounds like we're getting more into a sort of Mario Party that includes a lot of Sega characters. We can have the action mini-games and the strategy mini-games and the fishing mini-games...

    Either that or maybe a Nintendo vs Sega fighting game, like SSB or Street Fighter, it doesn't matter. (*Laughs at the thought of Link Vs. Knuckles, and Ganondorf Vs Robotnik...*)

    And thinking about it, it might actually happen, seeing as how Sega is now only designing games for other console platforms...

    Steve Irwin 64

    In this game you play as that zany guy from Australia, and you fight crocodiles one-on-one. Just to give the game a goal, there will be a story mode where you have to go around saving people by wrestling crocodiles out of swimming pools, hot tubs, and golf course ponds. You'll earn money for each croc you successfully capture, and you're saving that money so you can earn enough to buy a damn pair of long pants, already!! If you make it to the end, you get to go on Late Night With Conan O'Brien, and you'll get to wrestle Conan and his other special guest, Emilio Estevez, in a kiddy pool.

    Super Toilet Bros.

    In this game, you play as a plumber who has to rescue a princess who got flushed down a toilet. You start by plunging the toilet, then your bumbling brother accidentally flushes it, and you both get sucked down. Instead of ending up in the sewers, you are magically warped to Happy Pipe Land, where Mushrooms make you grow stronger and you can squish turtles all day! Then you run around jumping on flagpoles and collecting coins to pay off your bookie. Eating a very "special" leaf will give you the ability to fly! I think this game is destined to become a million seller! Don't you?

    Super Tossed Salad Bros.

    This is the sequel to Potato Salad 64. In it, you play as two brothers tossing salads in a restaurant. You can't afford to hire waiters or waitresses, so you have to actually toss the salads from the kitchen onto people's plates.

    Hit people in the face - Minus 10 points
    Make it to the table - Plus 10 points
    Score a direct hit on the plate - Plus 20 points
    Miss the table completely - Minus 10 points

    And don't forget that you have to squirt the salad dressing across the room, too and try to land it on top of the salad, and you have to try to get exactly as much dressing as the customer wants.

    Tetris Attack! Tournament Edition

    It's a fighting game based on Tetris! You play as one of these main characters:

    The Square

    The L-Block

    The Reverse L-Block

    The Z-Block

    The Reverse Z-Block

    The Line

    Each has their own repertoire of moves and is spetacularly rendered in 3D polygons!

    Hidden characters include:

    A Bean from Puyo-Puyo.

    The Top Hat from Hatris.

    A Cookie from Yoshi's Cookie.

    The Letter "Q" from Wordtris.

    The final boss is Alexey Pazhitnov.

    Winning the game with all characters, including the hidden ones, unlocks a special mode where you can change the colors of your blocks.

    X-TREEME Crossdressing Championship

    That's right! You're an X-TREEME crossdresser trying to win the big time tournament of crossdressing champions! The goal is to become such a good crossdresser that no one will believe you're actually a man. You can do all the following:

  • Wear makeup
  • Wear women's clothing
  • Stuff your bra with tissue paper
  • Wear a body suit
  • Wear a girdle
  • Get plastic surgery
  • Try to squeeze into high-heeled shoes or hosiery
  • Parade around in spandex or a bikini

    But these items can be costly, so you'll have to earn enough money for them by competing in crossdressing contests around the world.

    But be careful how you choose to make yourself over. You could end up becoming the ultimate she-male or your nose could fall off like Michael Jackson's. (Special FMV of your nose falling off if you get the "bad" ending.)

    Win enough money and recognition to be invited to the X-TREEME Crossdressing Championship, where if you win, you'll be buried in a mountain of parking meter change and shoelaces!

    Lots of digital CGI effects and (adjustable) bouncing man-boobs!

  • X-TREEME Curling

    Mash the buttons as fast as you can to scrub that ice, then watch as your oversized hockey puck slides along its path of ultimate destiny in spectacularly rendered 3D rotoscoped effects, raytraced with X-TREEME digital layering, anti-aliasing, lighting effects, and lots of floating point numbers!!!

    Be on the lookout for Tonya Harding, as she'll occasionally skate by and try to club you in the knee, ruining your chance to become X-TREEME CURLING CHAMPION!!

    It's X-TREEME entertainment!!

    Yakov Smirnoff 007

    As the famous Russian-born comedian Yakov Smirnoff, you must infiltrate the KGB and destroy their Heavily-Armed Sattellite. Make your enemies roll over with laughter as you tell them funny little anecdotes about your life in America as compared to life in Russia. Every time you complete a goal, you must pick the appropriate Soviet Russia joke from a list to proceed. For example, if you succeed in stealing an airplane, you must say, "In Soviet Russia, planes fly YOU!", or if you destroy a security camera, you say, "In Soviet Russia, we only had two channels, one is propaganda, the other is a KGB agent telling you change back to Channel ONE!" When you meet a boss, you have to tell him a 20-second fun fact, like "Bees have 9 eyes!" Or if you bungee jump off a dam without the cord, yell, "Wow! Russian bungee cords really suck!"

    If you succeed in reaching the Heavily-Armed Sattellite, you can use it to broadcast your jokes, stories, and fun facts across the world and bring about World Peace. The final cutscene shows you standing atop a mountain yelling, "I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!"

    Special cameos by Boris Yeltzin, Mikhail Gorbachev, the Russian guy from Star Trek, Zangief, and Weird Al Yankovic.

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