Top 10 Things We've Learned From SlayerX in 2011!

by James FP

#10. If you plan your attacks on a message board to happen exactly around Thanksgiving break every year, there's no reason at all for people to get suspicious that it's the same person every time. In fact, if they do get suspicious, just move it forward a month or two to throw them off.

#9. The most interesting thing in the world is finding an old topic on a forum that never gets rid of their old topics.

#8. Feel free to throw the world's biggest temper tantrum because someone suggests your game review might be too long. But remember, it's perfectly okay to go around replying to BJ Strykes's posts telling him that his posts are too long, even if his posts aren't 1/4 as long as your review. As long as it's BJ Strykes, it's perfectly okay, because it's okay to hate him for unexplained reasons. Oh, and it doesn't matter if the review that was too long was actually yours or not. You can steal it from someone else and act like it's yours and the rules still apply.

#7. Ryu Hayabusa is not a fictitious character created by video game developer Tecmo Inc. for their Ninja Gaiden series of action platformers. No, in fact, Ryu Hayabusa is a real person who actually exists, and he spends all his time on the internet whining about shit from 10 years ago that nobody else cares about.

#6. Everybody in the whole world cares about your crappy website, even if none of them ever visit it.

#5. There are no such things as hackers.

#4. There is no such thing as trolling.

#3. Trolling and hacking are the same thing... well, at least they would be if either actually existed.

#2. Copying and pasting someone else's game review to a message board is hard work. Hey, when you sit around in your parents' basement for 24/7, it takes a damn LOT of effort to hold down that CTRL key and stretch alllllll the way over to press V at the same time.

And the #1 thing we've learned from SlayerX in 2011 is...(drumroll please)

All Robert Ludlum novels are about whiny teenagers on message boards planning incompetent pranks on other message boards.

Until the next time Slayer locates another family member with internet access so that he can avert the Port Saiid ban (or grows the balls necessary to face the DHN community on its own turf instead of just sending us cute emails or whining straight to FO about everything), that's all folks!

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